


oh, and also, I'm wretchedly in love with you

by Bynbyn101



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Bottom Jared, Discussion of Abortion, Established Relationship, Fluff, Jared's just really hormonal, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Top Jensen, except not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-01 01:05:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bynbyn101/pseuds/Bynbyn101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>House parties weren't exactly Jared's thing. They were loud and boring but when Jeff suggested they have one while their parents were away Jared jumped at the chance. It wasn't that he was excited about the party in itself. No he was more excited about who was going to be there. Since it was going to be all of Jeff's friends Jared just knew that Jensen was going to be there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not know or have any association to the men in this story. I just really enjoy using their faces for my characters. This is not beta'd so I am sorry for all the mistakes. Hope you enjoy.

                House parties weren't exactly Jared's thing. They were loud and boring but when Jeff suggested they have one while their parents were away Jared jumped at the chance. It wasn't that he was excited about the party in itself. No he was more excited about who was going to be there. Since it was going to be all of Jeff's friends Jared just knew that Jensen was going to be there.

                Jared had been harboring a major crush on Jensen since the first time he saw him when he was twelve. Jensen was three years older and almost always had a girl attached to his arm. Now that Jared was sixteen he had been hoping that Jensen would take an interest in him. So far though Jensen still just saw him as Jeff's little brother.

                "You gotta stay upstairs," Jeff informed him right before the first guests arrived. "I'm not going to get you in trouble."

                "But Jeff..."

                "Sorry Jay," Jeff said ruffling his hair. "Not going to risk it."           

                "But what if I get hungry? Or thirsty?"

                Jeff let out a long breath. "Just...I don't know...text me? Yeah, yeah text me or Jensen and we'll bring something up for you."

                "Jensen is going to be here?"

                "Of course he is. Jen would be pissed at me if I put a party together and didn't invite him."

                Jared nodded. "Do I have to go upstairs now?"

                "Yes Jay, you've got to do upstairs now."

                "Whatever," Jared mumbled as he turned his back on his older brother and went upstairs.

                Jared slammed his bedroom door shut and collapsed on his bed. Not even five minutes after he got into his room he heard the doorbell ring and the sound of people being let in. Eventually some music was put on with a booming bass that Jared could feel while laying on his bed.

                Jared lost track of time just listening to the sound of murmuring voices and loud music. He was halfway through level seventy four on Candy Crush when he heard someone coming up the stairs.

                "Hey Jay," Jensen said as he opened Jared's bedroom door. "Jeff said you were sanctioned to your room so I thought I'd bring up some food for you."

                "Thanks," Jared mumbled too afraid to look up at Jensen.

                "You okay man?"

                Jared looked up at Jensen and regretted it. The older boy was slightly flushed from the alcohol he probably was consuming while down stairs. His shirt was half untucked and his usually perfectly styled hair was in disarray. It was clear to Jared that Jensen had probably been dancing with some girl which made him extremely jealous.

                "Earth to Jared. You okay man?" Jensen asked as he snapped his fingers in front of his face. "You spaced out on me for a moment."

                "Sorry," Jared mumbled taking the bag of chips from Jensen.

                "I guess I'll see you later."  
                "Hey Jensen?" Jared called out.

                "Yeah?" Jensen stopped walking but didn't turn to look at Jared.

                "Do you find me attractive?"

                Jensen's hand tightened on the door knob. "Why do you ask?"

                Jared shrugged. "Just wondering. It's just...never mind."

                Jensen turned to look at Jared. "Why do you ask Jared?"

                "I've got this crush on someone and they never seem to pay attention to me. I was just wondering if you think it is because I am unattractive."

                "Shit Jay..."

                "I mean I know I am taller than most guys and kind of on the scrawny side and I could probably use a makeover but I can't be that ugly. Right?"

                "Jared..."

                Jared got up from his bed and walked over to the mirror he had in his closet. "Do you think I should get a haircut? I heard some girls saying that they like guys with shorter hair."

                "I think you look perfect," Jensen whispered.

                "Huh?"

                Jensen walked closer to Jared and placed a hand on his hip. "I think you look perfect," he whispered. "I don't think you should ever change."

                "Yeah?" Jared whispered.

                "Yeah."

                Jared leaned forward and tried to kiss Jensen only for the older man to take a step back.

                "We can't," Jensen said, shaking his head. "You're Jeff's little brother."

                "So?"

                "So? He's my best friend and he'd kill me."

                Jared rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Jensen. "We don't have to tell him."

                It seemed like for a moment Jensen was going to give in before he shook his head and stepped away again. They stood like that for a few minutes before Jensen took a deep breath.

                "I should go back down stairs."

                "You don't have to. You could stay here with me."

                "And what would I tell your brother?"

                "That you didn't like the party and preferred to stay with me."

                Jensen shook his head. "And what do I tell my date?"

                "Oh..."

                "She's cute. I should really want to go down there and be with her."

                "But?"

                Jensen turned and pulled Jared into his arms. "But I'd rather be up here with you," he whispered before kissing Jared on the lips.

                Jared's first kiss had been a quick, sloppy one with his best friend Chad. Chad wasn't sure if he was gay and Jared wanted to know what it would be like to kiss someone so they tried it. Right after Chad had declared his firm heterosexuality and Jared was left with the worlds weirdest first kiss.

                "So much better than kissing Chad," Jared whispered.

                "What was that?"

                "Nothing. Can we do that again?"

                Jensen laughed and pulled Jared's face down to kiss him again. They kissed for a few seconds before Jensen pulled away. He pinned Jared with a look then stalked towards his and pushed him softly so that he fell down onto his bed.

                "You gotta stop me when you get uncomfortable okay? I am not going to force you into anything. Got it?"

                Jared nodded and pulled Jensen closer to him. Their lips met again and they started pawing at each other trying desperately to have more skin to skin contact. Jensen maneuvers himself in a way that makes it so his lips don't actually Jared's as he strips them both down. Now they are flushed against each other and almost completely naked except for their boxers.

                "You still a virgin?" Jensen whispered as he trailed kissed down Jared's chest.

                "Yes," Jared whimpered.

                Jensen jumped back like he was shocked. His boxers were tented showing his obvious arousal but his eyes were wide and wild.

                "Shit," he mumbled running a hand through his hair. "Shit! We can't...I can't...you...fuck."

                "But..."

                Jensen started gathering his clothes and rushed out of the room shouting an 'I'm sorry' over his shoulder. Jared just laid there for several moments before he flipped over onto his belly and cried desperately not to cry.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                After Jensen hightailed it out of Jared's room he locked himself in the upstairs bedroom. He looked down at his tented boxers and swore. There was no way he could go downstairs in this state without Jeff knowing that something was up. Instead he texted his date to come upstairs. Quickly he threw his shirt on so it looked a little less like he was trying to have sex with his best friends little brother and more like he was just horny.

                The truth was he wanted Jared. He wanted Jared bad. Ever since the kid turned sixteen and started to grow into his awkward frame Jensen had been harboring a crush. He knew it was inappropriate but he couldn't help it. Everything about Jared turned him on.

                "What you doing up here baby?" Sasha asked scaring Jensen out of his thoughts. "Is that for me?"

                Jensen is a terrible liar so he just nodded his head.

                Without so much as a word Sasha dropped to her knees and took Jensen's cock out of his boxers. She smiled sweetly up at him before taking the tip into her mouth and lapping around the slit.

                "Yeah baby," Jensen moaned. "Just like that."

                Sasha hummed around his flesh and started working more and more of Jensen into her mouth. Her eyes flutter open and bright blue eyes looked up at bright green and somehow Jensen lost interest. Sure he was still hard because she was working him like a pro but the blonde hair blue eyed girl in front of him was not who he wanted.

                "Jensen I think we should...oh sorry," Jared said as he opened the door then promptly slammed it shut.

                "Well that is embarrassing," Sasha mumbled.

                "Maybe I should..."

                "What? Tell him what we were doing? He's a teenager I bet he knows what we were doing."

                "Sasha..."

                "But baby," she cooed moving her mouth back towards Jensen's cock. "We were having so much fun."

                Jensen let out a huff of air and rolled his eyes. "Fine."

                Sasha smiled and went back to work. With her talented mouth and him having his eyes squeezed shut = imaged who he really wished was on their knees in front of him he was able to come. If he had to stop himself from shouting Jared's name into the air, well, that was only for him to know.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Jared was miserable. He was snappy. He was a downright pain in the ass to be around. No one needed to tell him that he was because he knew he was. Ever since Jensen ran out on him and Jared caught him in the bathroom with some girl he has been unhappy. Really, really unhappy.

                "You're sulking," Chad said as he sat down at the table during lunch. "Why are you sulking?"

                "It's nothing," Jared mumbled.

                "Lies. What's wrong? Still upset Jeff banished you to your room during his party?"

                Jared shook his head and looked away.

                "Come one Jay. Tell me."

                "I'm fine. I promise."

                "The pout would say otherwise. Do I need to beat someone up for you?"

                "I really doubt you could," Jared said.

                Chad laughed and slapped Jared's shoulder lightly. "I'm a lover not a fighter. Now quit with the stalling and tell me what is wrong."

                "You know that guy I've had a crush on?"

                "Oh yes the elusive man. What about him?"

                "We kind of made out this weekend."

                Chad had just taken a bite of his sandwich right before Jared had spoken and now he was choking on that bite. He sputtered for a few minutes then got some air into his lungs.

                "You made out with mystery crush man? When, where?"

                "Saturday night in my room," Jared whispered.

                Chad looked like he was thinking over everything that he knew about Jared's weekend. "Wasn't Jeff's party on Saturday?"

                Jared nodded.

                "So you have a crush on one of Jeff's friends?" 

                Jared nodded again.

                Chad whistled softly. "Good luck with that. So what happened after you kissed?"

                "He ran out on me. When I went to talk to him later I found him in the bathroom getting a blow job from some girl."

                "Fucker. Whatever he doesn't deserve you if he can't see how awesome you are."

                "Thanks Chad."

                "No problem man. So, can I know mystery man's name now?"

                "Nope."

                "Why not?" Chad whined.

                "Cause I don't want him getting in trouble. You've got a big mouth and I don't need Jeff accidently finding out."

                "Whatever man," Chad grumbled as he took a big bite of his sandwich.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Jensen was pacing the room when Jeff entered the apartment. Jeff set his things down and sprawled out on the couch. He sat and watched his friend pace for a little while before he cleared his throat.

                "What's wrong with you?"

                Jensen stopped pacing and looked over at his friend. "If one of your friends ever told you that they wanted to date Jared what would you do?"

                "Beat the ever living shit out of him. I'm not going to let some nineteen year old pervert touch my little brother."

                Jensen nodded and dropped down onto a chair. "Good to know," he mumbled.

                "Why do you ask?"

                "Just wondering."

                "Do you like Jared?"

                "What? No! Of course not. He's not a little brother to me."

                "You're full of shit! I know when you are lying to me Jen. You like Jared! Dude seriously?"

                "I...I'm sorry?"

                "You're sorry?" Jeff stood up and stalked closer to Jensen. "You're sorry? He's sixteen, Jensen. Sixteen!"

                "So? When you were sixteen you had a crush on my brother Josh."

                "Had a crush. I didn't go out and make out with him at a party."

                "How did you know about that?"

                "Chad has a big mouth and he told me that Jared made out with someone at my party. I put two and two together and I got you. How could you do this to me?"

                "I stopped myself and told him it was wrong."

                "And that is supposed to make me feel better?"

                Jensen slumped back and covered his face with his hands. "I'll stay away from him for a while. I think that will help with these feelings. Maybe I'll try dating someone else and see if that helps. I'm not going to lose our friendship over this."

                "Jen..."

                "It's fine," Jensen said pushing to him feet. "I've got somewhere I've got to be."

                "Jensen! Seriously man sit down."

                Jensen stopped walking and turned back to Jeff. "What?"

                "He's my little brother and I don't want to see him hurt."

                Jensen nodded.

                "Which means if you hurt him I am going to kill you. Got it?"

                "Wait, what?"

                Jeff laughed. "You have been miserable ever since Saturday night. Sasha came down stairs telling everyone about your time in the bathroom and yet you still sulked. So I'd rather see you happy with my brother than upset with someone else."

                "Seriously?"

                Jeff nodded. "Just promise me you won't force him into anything. This will be his first relationship and I know with how much he likes you that he will give you anything."

                "How'd you know he likes me?"

                "He has this way of saying your name. He's liked you since he was twelve; which is another thing that I know because of Chad."

                "Seriously?"

                Jeff nodded. He looked down at his watch and smiled. "He should be home by now."

                "You're serious? You're going to let me date your little brother?"

                "Will you just go already?"

                "Yeah, yeah I'm out of here."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Jared was still sulking when he got home. No one was around which was fine by him because he just knew he was going to snap at his parents. He'd been doing that a lot lately too. Luckily his parents were pretty cool about teenage hormones and left him alone.

                The doorbell rang and Jared sighed. He told Chad he didn't want any company but his friend never listened to him. Knowing Chad he probably thought he was helping by showing up.

                "Chad I said I...Jensen?"

                Jensen shifted from foot to foot. "Hey."

                "What are you doing here?"

                "I wanted to talk to you. To apologize for..."

                "I don't want your apology," Jared snapped.

                "I want to apologize for running out on you the other night. Can I come in?"

                "Fine," Jared huffed walking back inside the house.

                Jensen followed him in and into the living room. They sat in silence for a little while before Jensen got up to sit next to Jared.

                "What are you doing?" Jared squeaked when Jensen started to move closer to him.

                "I was going to kiss you."

                "Why?"

                "Because I like you."

                "I thought we couldn't because of Jeff."

                "Well Jeff told me I could."

                "What?"

                Jensen sat back against the armrest. "Jeff and I had a conversation today and he said he'd be fine with us dating."

                "So you went and asked my brother for permission?"

                "Not exactly...."

                "So you're too much of a wimp to just take what you want?"

                "I thought you'd be happy."

                "Happy?" Jared barked out a laugh. "I caught you with a girl not even ten minutes after we were together."

                "I made a mistake. But I couldn't just go downstairs in the state I left you in and..."

                "So a quick jerk off wasn't good enough? You had to have a girl do it for you?"

                "This is not how I wanted this to go," Jared mumbled.

                "And how were you hoping this would go? That I would be grateful you wanted to be with me and fall into your arms no problem?"

                "Jared, I..."

                "Just get out!"

                "Jared will you let me talk for one second?"

                "I wanted to talk to you but instead I interrupted your blow job."

                "I was picturing it was you," Jensen whispered.

                "What?"

                "I was picturing it was you," he said a little louder this time. "I took one look at her when she was blowing me and had to close my eyes because I wanted to see you on your knees and not her."

                "Jensen..."

                "I love you, Jay. I've loved you since your sixteen birthday party when you threw cake at Jeff for getting you the Katy Perry cd. It took me everything in my power not to kiss you right there in front of your family and friends."

                "What about Saturday? That didn't seem like you were in love with me."

                Jensen walked forward so that he stood in directly in front of Jared. "I couldn't risk Jeff finding out; not only for me but you too. You two have such a great relationship that I didn't want to ruin it. How do you think Jeff would have taken it if instead of me talking to him about my feelings for you he caught us in the middle of something on Saturday?"

                "But that girl..."

                "Means pretty much nothing to me. Besides, she's got nothing on you."

                "Why do you say that?"

                "Well not to sound cheesy but she's got the 'v' where I'd rather see a 'p'."

                Jared gave Jensen a 'really' face which made the older boy laugh. Jensen moved even closer, placing his hands on Jared's hips.

                "Jensen..."

                "I'll leave," Jensen whispered, "but first I want one kiss. Just one."

                "Just one?"

                "Just one."

                Jared nodded and leaned forward so that his lips brushed lightly against Jensen's. Jensen went to take a step back only to have the younger boy pulling him forward again. Jared crashed their lips together and kissed him hard. Jensen held onto him tightly as Jared moaned into his mouth.

                "I love you," Jared whispered. "I've loved you since I was twelve."

                "Really?"

                "You punch me in the shoulder and called me a runt and I couldn't stop touching my shoulder because you had just touched it. All of my friends know you as the older guy I am in love with because all I do is talk about you."

                "That's so..."

                "Pathetic?" Jared stepped back and deflated. "I know it is. But I couldn't, still can't, help it."

                "I was going to say adorable."

                "What?"

                Jensen reached out and pulled Jared close to him. "You're adorable."

                Jared reached up and cradled Jensen's face in his hands. "Jeff really said this is okay?"

                "Yes."

                "Good because I don't think I would have been able to stay away from you much longer."

                Jensen kissed Jared on the lips softly. "Me neither.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two years later

                Jensen was sitting on the couch with a beer resting against his knee and a random television show playing in the background. He could hear Jeff milling around in their shared kitchen trying to make a sandwich while being slightly tipsy.

                "We've got like four plates left so be careful with that shit," Jensen yelled to him.

                "Shut up," Jeff yelled back.

                Jensen laughed under his breath and took another swig of his beer. A few minutes later Jeff came back into the living room with the sloppiest peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

                "You realize you're supposed to put the PB&J on the bread right?"

                Jeff looked down at his sandwich and shrugged. "Whatever." He took a bite of it. "So, what you getting Jared for graduation?"

                "I was thinking I'd just take him somewhere and let him pick it out."

                "Real romantic."

                "It's whatever. We've been together for two years."

                "What does that mean?"

                "He knows I love him. He'd probably be happier if I let him pick it out then trying to find something."

                Jeff nodded and bite into his sandwich again. "When's the last time you spoke to him anyways?"

                "Yesterday. He hung up on me because I pissed him off."

                "What'd you say?"

                Jensen shrugged and took another sip of his beer. "Hell if I know. I've been a little afraid to call him since."

                "Yeah cause that won't piss him off more," Jeff mumbled.

                "He'll call me when he's no longer upset."

                Jeff took the remote control and changed the channel to some police show. Jensen grunted and downed the rest of his beer.

                "What?"

                "You don't get enough of this shit at work?"

                "It's fun."

                "You're an idiot."

                "Whatever man. Maybe it'll motivate you to join the force."

                Jensen's phone started ringing before he could make a comment Instead he shot Jeff an annoyed look as he snatched it up off of the coffee table.

                "Hey babe," he said as greeting to Jared.

                The other side of the line was silent.

                "Jared?"

                "J..Jen?"

                "Baby what's wrong?"

                Jeff sat up and looked over at Jensen. "What's wrong?"

                Jensen moved the phone away from his mouth. "I don't know."

                "Jensen?" Jared whimpered.

                "What's wrong? Are you okay? Jared talk to me you're scaring me."

                "I'm pregnant."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                House parties were starting to become the bane of Jared's existence. This one in particular was going to go down in the history books as the worst ever. Mostly because he was currently sitting in Chad's bathroom with a positive pregnancy test in one hand and a ranting Jensen on the phone in his other.

                "Where are you?" Jensen was yelling into the phone. "Babe where are you?"

                "Chad's."

                "Are you at a party?"

                Jared started to nod but remembered Jensen couldn't see him so he whispered: "Yes."

                "Have you been drinking?"

                "No. I wasn't even planning on coming to the party but I needed somewhere to take the test so..."

                "I'll be there soon."

                "What? No! Jensen I'll be fine. You've got class in the morning..."

                "And you just found out you're pregnant in your best friends bathroom. I'm going to be there soon."

                "Wait, pregnant?" Jared heard Jeff yelling in the background.

                "Jeff, be cool."

                "Be cool? You got my eighteen year old brother pregnant and you're telling me to be cool?"

                Jared heard what sounded like a slight scuffle on the other side of the phone line before it went dead. He removed the phone from his ear and frowned down at it.

                "Dude?" Chad yelled as he pounded on the door. "Get out here and have a drink."

                "I can't," Jared yelled back.

                "Why the hell not?"

                Jared got up off the floor and opened the door. "Go look on the counter."

                Chad mumbled under his breath and pushed passed Jared. "What is such a big deal that you...holy shit dude. Is this for real?"

                "I think so."

                "But there's false negatives right? It could just be messed up right?"

                "I guess so."

                "Well let's hope it is."

                "Why?"

                "Why? You're eighteen dude."

                "So?"

                "So? So? You can't have a kid! We're supposed to be going to college in three months, remember?"

                Jared leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms over his chest. "So if I was pregnant and decided to keep it you would ditch me as a friend?"

                "Of course not," Chad yelled. "I'd be the greatest uncle ever. I'm just pointing out the facts."

                Jared deflated a bit. "He's going to dump me," he mumbled.

                "What?"

                "Jensen's going to dump me," he wheezed. "He's going to tell me that he can't handle being a dad right now and leave me."

                "Jay you need to calm down," Chad said moving closer to Jared. "It's okay."

                "I can't be a single dad."

                "Breath," Chad whispered. "Deep breaths. In and out."

                "My mom's going to kick me out and Jeff will side with Jensen and..."

                "Your mom won't kick you out and even if Jensen does leave you Jeff will never side with him. He'll help you out. Not to mention you've got me."

                "And me."

                Jared turned around to see Jensen standing in the hallway behind him. He had a tight smile on his face and a split lip. Jared rushed forward and ran his hands over Jensen's face.

                "Did Jeff do this to you?" he asked his boyfriend.

                "Nah. I cut myself on a broken plate."

                "A broken plate?"

                "Jeff was eating off of it when you called. It must have smashed at some point during our scuffle and I managed to cut myself on it."

                "Are you okay?"

                "I'm fine," Jensen whispered. He lifted a hand up to cradle Jared's face. "How are you?"

                "Scare shitless."

                "You're not going to leave him are you?" Chad asked coming to stand next to them. "Because if you are I want to get your beat down done now instead of later."

                "I'm not leaving him. Ever."

                "Really?" Jared whispered.

                "Face it baby, you're stuck with me."

                "I think I need a drink," Chad mumbled as he lightly pushed past Jensen and Jared.

                "Is Jeff pissed?" Jared asked after a few moments of silence.

                "Yes and no. He was tipsy enough to not be murderous but sober enough to want to punch me in the dick a few times."

                "Did he?"

                "Yup. He's basically decided for me that we won't be having sex for a few days."

                "I already made that decision when I had to pee on a stick to find out whether or not I was pregnant," Jared said stepping away from Jensen. "Not to mention I am still mad at you for yesterday."

                "What the fuck did I do yesterday?" Jensen asked, the confusion apparent in his voice.                

                "I asked you if we could hang out tonight so that I didn't have to come to this party and you told me you couldn't because you had to hang out with Jeff. You picked my older brother over me, Jensen."

                "So?"

                "I wanted you to be there when I took the test," Jared said.

                "What?"

                Jared pushed past Jensen and made his way towards the party. He found Chad and grabbed the red solo cup out of his hand.

                "Dude, what..."

                "Don't you fucking dare take a sip of that beer," Jensen yelled over the music.

                "It's not going to make a difference."

                Chad grabbed the cup out of Jared's hand and chugged the remainder down.

                "Chad, what the fuck?"

                "I am not going to sit idly by while you give my little niece or nephew fetal alcohol poisoning."

                "Who said I was keeping it?"

                "You're going to..." Jensen physically deflated, his face turned pale. "Jared, please..."

                "It's my body, Jensen."

                "I know but..."

                "I've got school coming up in three months and a baby ruins all of that. Right Chad?" Jared turned to Chad to find his friend just as pale as Jensen. "Right Chad?"

                Chad shook his head. "But...baby."

                Jensen pointed to Chad in a 'my thoughts exactly' gesture.

                "I need some air," Jared whispered pushing past Jensen and heading for the door.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Jensen can't breathe. It feels like there is someone sitting on his chest. He's sitting down and can't even remember when he sat down. He hasn't seen Jared in at least an hour and he is convinced that the younger man has left.

                "Want a beer?" Someone asked, sitting down next to him.

                Jensen looked over at the brunette. She's pretty and Jensen knew that if his heart wasn't already sold to someone else he would have flirted with her shamelessly. But Jensen had Jared and that is all he wanted so he just shook his head and went back to staring straight ahead.

                "You wanna talk about it?"

                He looked over at her again. She's stripped out of her shirt and is now sitting in just a tank top. Her boobs are on full display and she's pushing them out slightly so that they are the main focus. She really did nothing for him.

                "No," he muttered looking away again.

                The girl let out a huff. "God you're such a buzz kill," she complained. She scooted closer so that her boobs were touching his shoulder. "I could help you with that."

                Jensen turned to look at her again. This time when he looked her face was inches from his. She had bright blue eyes that did nothing for him because I was in love with ever changing eyes.

                "I'm fine," he whispered.

                "You sure?" Her hand snaked down and rested on his knee. "I promise to make you feel better?"

                The hand on his knee slowly started moving up and down his leg. Eventually she let it rest on his inner thigh and moved just a little bit closer to him. Now that crushing weight on his chest got so much worse and he stood up in a hurry and fled from the house.

                The cool air hits him the moment he pushed open the door. He's struggling with the pack of cigarettes in his pocket; cursing at them when they won't come out of his pocket willingly. Finally he gets them out and was about to light it when Jared came walking towards him.

                "You're going to have to stop that now that I am pregnant," he said crossing his arms over his chest. "That's really bad for me and the baby."

                The pack of cigarettes fell from Jensen's hands and he pulled Jared into his arms. "You're keeping it?"

                "Crazy right?" Jared asked taking a step back.

                "Not crazy. Not crazy at all. What made you change your mind?"

                Jensen watched as Jared's hand crept down to spread across his stomach. "I thought about what life would be like with a baby and I realized that I liked the idea. I don't mind putting off college for a few years to raise our child."

                "You wanna be my stay at home wifey?"

                "You gonna make a honest man out of me?"

                "Jeff would kill me if I didn't." Jensen pulled Jared into his arms again. "Is that a yes?"

                "Is this you asking me? Because if it is this is the shittiest proposal ever."

                "I'm sorry you're right." Jensen stepped back. "I don't have a ring for you now so I will just have to do this again. But just know that I am not leaving you; not now, not ever. It's you and me baby, you better be ready for it."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Jared was squished between Jensen and Jeff on his parents couch staring down at his hands. His mother was running around the house trying to get everything ready for Jared's graduation party while also trying to make sure the three boys on the couch were comfortable. She was keeping up a running conversation with Jeff and Jensen about school and work.

                "When do you want to tell her?" Jensen whispered.

                Jared shrugged. "In nine months?"

                Jeff let out a quiet chuckle.

                "It's not funny Jeff," Jensen snapped.

                Jared's mother stopped running around and stopped to look at the boys. "What's wrong?"

                "Nothing," Jared whispered.

                "Don't you dare lie to me Jared," she said. "What is wrong?"

                "Jared's pregnant," Jeff yelled.

                "Jeff!" Jared and Jensen yelled.

                "Is this true?"

                Jared nodded.

                "Have you seen a doctor yet?"

                Jared nodded.

                "Can I see the ultrasound?"

                Jensen stood and removed the ultrasound picture from his wallet. With shaking hands he passed it over to Jared's mother.

                "Oh Jared," she whispered.

                "Momma..."

                "So I am guessing you and Jensen will be getting married sometime soon?"

                "Yes ma'am," Jensen said.

                "Gerry," their mother yelled. "Can you come in here?"

                Jensen dropped down onto the couch again and wrapped a hand around Jared. "It's okay," Jensen whispered.

                "What's wrong?" Gerry asked as he walked into the room.

                "Look," she whispered passing the picture over to him.

                "Is this...Jared?"

                "I...I'm sorry. I didn't want this to happen. We didn't want this to happen. It was an accident..."

                "You going to marry my son?" Gerry asked interrupting Jared's rant.

                "Yes sir."

                "And what about you Jared? What are your plans?"

                "I want to raise the baby."

                "What about school?"

                "I don't know," Jared admitted. "Maybe I'll consider it once the baby is older."

                "Okay." Gerri hands the ultrasound back to Jensen and moved to stand next to his wife. "So, which one broke down and told you?"

                "Jeff," Sherri said with a giggle.

                "Wait...you knew?" Jared asked.

                "I know the symptoms of a pregnancy, Jared."

                "Well why the hell didn't you tell me?"

                She shrugged. "We wanted you to figure it out for yourself. That way you wouldn't have felt pressured to make a decision based on us."

                "A heads up would have been nice," Jeff mumbled.

                "You beat Jensen up when you found out?"

                "We wrestled a bit but I didn't hit him hard."

                "He was too drunk to hit me hard," Jensen whispered.

                "Shut it dude."

                "I am aware that you are a smoker," Gerry said interrupting the two older boys fighting, "do you plan on quitting?"

                "I've already started. I'm not risking anything." 

                "And you have a doctor?" Sherri asked Jared.

                "Yes momma. Jensen did all his research and made sure to get me the most qualified doctor. Her name is Dr. Millar and you are welcome to accompany me to my next doctor's appointment if it would make you were comfortable."

                Sherri nodded. "We will help you pay for the medical bills," she informed them.

                "Mrs. Padalecki I can't..."

                "You can and you will. You are a twenty one year old college student with no insurance. We will be paying for Jared's medical expenses."

                "I...I don't know what to say," Jensen whispered. He grabbed Jared's hand and squeezed it. "This is more than I ever expected when we decided to tell you about the baby."

                "You can say thank you."

                "Thank you. Thank you very much."

                "You're welcome," Sherri said. She stood up and dusted invisible dust off her pants. "Now if you'll excuse me I have a party to finish preparing for."

                "And I have..." Gerry started as he stood up.

                "Just go back into your office and pretend to do work so that you don't have to help me," Sherri said waving a dismissive hand at her husband.

                Gerry walked over to her and pulled him into his arms. He kissed his wife on the lips. "I'll help you with anything you want me to."

                "Really?"

                "Anything my love."

                Sherri backed out of her husband's arms and lead him into the kitchen. "Good because I have a lot of work for you," she said as they left the room.

                "I hope we're like that after two kids and a long marriage," Jensen whispered into Jared's ear.

                "I will personally guarantee that we are," Jared whispered back.

                "Please do not kiss in front of me," Jeff bitched. "It's bad enough that I know you guys have fucked."

                " Language," Sherri yelled from the kitchen.

                "Sorry momma," Jeff yelled back.

                "She's got ears like a hawk," Jensen whispered.

                "And you better develop them before that little one is born," she said walking back into the living room with a plate full of food. She passed to Jared and pat him on the head. "If that little one it s boy you are in for the ride of your life."

                "Momma it's just a bunch of cells right now. No need to talk like that."

                "Hush now dear and eat you food. The guests will be here soon. Oh and Jensen?"

                "Yes ma'am?"

                "Have you told your parents about the baby yet?"

                "No ma'am," Jensen mumbled sheepishly.

                "Well I suggest you tell her when she gets here so that it doesn't accidently slip out later."

                Jensen groaned and buried his head in Jared's shoulder. "Shit."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Donna Ackles squealed when she found out about her upcoming grandchild. Jensen had been shaking in fear until his mother wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him close. His father was a little more stern with his reaction but Jensen still got a hug from him nonetheless.

                "Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Donna asked as she pulled Jensen into another hug.

                "We were too afraid," Jensen mumbled.

                "Honestly the only reason I know is because Jeff blurted it out earlier," Sherri said as she puttered around the room putting the finishing touches on the party.

                "We were trying to find the perfect time to tell everyone but my brother and his big mouth ruined all of that," Jared said as he walked back into the room.

                "Oh Jared," Donna gushed. She rushed over to her future son-in-law, practically pushing Jensen over in the process, and wrapped her arms around him. "How are you feeling sweetie? You look a bit green."

                "Just feeling a bit queasy," he reassured her, hugging her back. "I've been experiencing my morning sickness during the late afternoon."

                "Oh sweetie I am so sorry to hear that."

                Jared politely extracts myself from Donna and walked over to throw his arms around Jensen. The older man wrapped Jared in his arms and sighed deeply. "He gets clingy after he is sick," he explained to his family.

                "I do not," Jared grumbled into his neck.

                "Yes you do," Jensen whispered. "But it's okay because I like it when you are clingy."

                "He's always been like that," Sherri informed them. "Ever since he was a baby he would come looking for someone to cuddle him whenever he was sick."

                "Used to get me sick all the time," Jeff said.

                "You used to cuddle with Jared?"

                Jeff shrugged. "You've seen my brothers puppy eyes. You of all people should know the power of those damn things."

                Jensen kissed Jared's temple. "It is how we ended up with you being pregnant," Jensen whispered.

                Jared hit Jensen in the chest. "Asshole."

                Cupping Jared's cheek, Jensen kissed him softly on the lips. "You know I didn't mean anything by it."

                Jared let out a long breath.

                "You okay?"

                "Gonna..." Jared pushed away from Jensen and ran out of the room, probably to the nearest bathroom so that he could throw up.

                "I'll be right back," he told everyone in the room and followed after Jared. He found the younger man bent over the toilet in the guest bathroom. "You okay?"

                "Dandy," Jared bit out before turning back to the toilet.

                Jensen kneeled down next to Jared and ran his hand up and down his back. "I'm sorry you feel so shitty," he whispered. "I wish I could take all the bad away so that you could just enjoy being pregnant."

                "Enjoy being pregnant?" Jared barked out. He let out a humorless laugh and pushed Jensen away from him. "No one enjoys being pregnant." He pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Fuck. Why did I decide to go through with this?"

                "I...I thought you wanted...?"

                "Obviously that was a shitty idea," Jared grumbled under his breath.

                Jensen let out a shaking breath and got to his feet. "Obviously," he whispered. "I'm gonna get going."

                "Whatever," Jared spat.

                "Guess I'll see you around."

                Jensen walked out of the bathroom and back into the living room. Both families were now sitting in the room chatting, waiting for everyone else to arrive. He wiped the tears that had managed to fall away.

                "How is Jared feeling?" Sherri asked cheerfully.

                "He's okay," he lied.

                "Where are you going?" Donna asked as he pulled his jacket on.

                "I'm...I'm going to get him some ginger ale. Hoping it will help settle his stomach some," he lied again.

                "Oh I wish I knew before hand to pick some up while I was at the store earlier," Sherri said almost apologetically. "But what a good little daddy to be you are going out to get him some. Hurry back so that you can get here before the guests arrive."

                Jensen nodded and headed out the door.

                "Jen, wait!" Jeff yelled.

                "Jeff I can go by myself," he spat when his friend wedge himself between the closing door.

                "What happened in the bathroom?"

                "Nothing. I'm just getting him some ginger ale.

                "Bullshit. Where are you really going?"

                "Home."

                "What?" Jeff nearly yelled.

                "He doesn't want the baby Jeff," Jensen whispered.

                "Yeah okay," Jeff scoffed.

                "He just told me he doesn't want it, that he regrets deciding to keep it."

                "Jared just told you this? My little brother Jared?"

                Jensen nodded. The tears he managed to hold back earlier were falling freely now. His chest felt so tight that he had to take shallow breaths to keep from passing out.

                "I've got to go," he whispered and ran away from the Padalecki house as fast as he could.

                He didn't make it far before he fell to his knees on a patch of grass a few miles away from the house. Every single part of him felt like it was on fire. If he thought his chest hurt before it was nothing compared to this new sensation he was having. He felt like he was dying.

                His phone buzzed in his pocket but he ignored it. It kept going for several minutes before it stopped and started again. With shaking hands he removed it from his pocket to check who was calling. It was his mother with two other missed calls from Jeff and Sherri. Knowing that they were just calling to try to convince him to come back to the house so that they could fee him bullshit about how it would all be okay in the end he shut his phone off. Nothing was going to be okay.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Jensen wouldn't answer him. He wouldn't answer anyone. When they realized that he shut his phone off Jared went into a panic attack, screaming out how sorry he was to someone who couldn't hear him. He hadn't meant it. There was nothing in the world he wanted more than Jensen and their baby.

                "You okay?" Jeff asked.

                Jared hadn't spoken in an hour. He was aware of the people around him but that was about it. There hadn't been enough time to cancel that party so it was still going on even though the "man of the hour" was nearly catatonic in the living room.

                "Come on man," he whispered moving closer. "Talk to me."

                "How could he think I didn't want it? How could he think that? How?"

                Jeff pulled Jared into his lap and cradled his little brother to his chest. "He's still so afraid that you'll change your mind."

                "I'd never change my mind. I know I had a moment of doubt after I found out but I could never change my mind again. I know I shouldn't have said what I said but I am so hormonal and I didn't feel good and it just came out." Jared turned so that he could look Jeff in the eyes. "I didn't mean what I said. I promise."

                "I know," Jeff whispered. He began rocking back and forth. "I know."

                "I want Jensen," he whined.

                Jeff moved Jared onto the couch next to him and stood up.

                "Where are you going?"

                "Going to find Jensen."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Jensen was pretty sure he had never drank that much. The bartender was already eyeing him and he had only been in the bar for twenty minutes. But damn it, everything still hurt so bad. If he let himself think about it too long his breath would stutter and he would probably collapse again.

                "Hey there," a beautiful blonde said as she sat down next to him.

                "Hi," he mumbled into his glass.

                "What has such a handsome man looking so sad?" She asked placing a hand on his knee.

                Jensen looked down at the hand on his leg. It shouldn't be there. Jared's should be there. He should be with Jared. Fuck.

                "Fuck," he breathed.

                The hand on his knee squeezed, obviously thinking he was referring to her. "I live close by if you want to..."

                "There you are baby," Jeff said from the chair on the opposite side of him. "I've been looking for you everywhere."

                The hand on his knee snapped back like it physically burned her. "You're gay?"

                Jeff placed his hand on Jensen's shoulder and leaned forward. "Extremely," he whispered with a sneer.

                The woman made a disgusted face and spun out of her chair.

                "What do you want?"

                "You've got to come back."

                "Why would I do that?"

                "He's freaking out Jensen. We were barely able to calm him down."

                "Is he okay?"

                "No."

                Jensen heart squeezed. "What's wrong? Is the baby okay?"

                "They're both okay," Jeff reassured him. "But he needs you Jensen. He didn't mean anything he said earlier. The hormone got to him and..."

                "Fuck," Jensen moaned. "Hormones. I should have known."

                "You gonna come back?"

                Jensen nodded and rose to his feet. He placed a fifty on the bar then followed Jeff out of the bar.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Jared gave up on trying to be happy so he went to crawl into bed. He'd been laying there with his hand resting on his stomach when the door opened.

                "Jeff, go away," Jared grumbled not bothering to look up.

                "Not Jeff," Jensen said.

                Jared shot up in bed and looked at Jensen. The moment their eyes met he scrambled out of bed and threw his arms around Jensen's neck. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he whispered into his neck. "I didn't mean what I said. I love this baby and I wouldn't trade it for anything."

                "I know," he whispered. "You're hormonal right now and I should have realized that."

                "You didn't really think that I'd give it up did you?"

                "It's just...You're so young and I feel like..."

                "No," Jared whispered. "It doesn't matter. Got it? I want this. All of it."

                Jensen kissed Jared. "I do too."

                "Good because no matter what I say in my hormonal moments I am not backing out of this."

                Jensen lifted Jared up and placed him on the bed. "You think your parents would be upset with me if I stayed the night?"

                "It's not like you can get me pregnant," he joked.

                "You're right," Jensen said with a little laugh.

                They curled around each other and whispered softly to one another until they fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

            Jared's puppy eyes are going to be the cause of Jensen's death; or his bankruptcy. It has gotten to the point where he is considering getting a second job. All the younger man has to do is pull the look and Jensen is pulling out his wallet to get him what he wanted. Right now Jared is giving him that look because of the wedding ring he really, really wants.

            "Jared," Jensen sighed. "I don't think I can afford that."

            "Yes you can," Jared insisted.

            "Jared, it has to be out of my price range."

            The ring is stainless steel with blue plated center and ridged edges in the middle. The more he looked at it the more he wished that he could afford it. It's absolutely stunning.

            "I can't it would look great for you," Jared told him.

            "For me?" Jensen was a little stunned. When he looked at the ring he assumed that Jared would want it for himself. "I thought you wanted it."

            Jared shook his hand and pointed to a much smaller ring. This one was stainless steel featuring two grooves filled with royal blue enamel. It was the tamer, smaller, less expensive version of the one that he wanted Jensen to have.

            Jensen kissed Jared's temple. "That one is perfect for you," he whispered in his ear.

            "It's only perfect if you get that one."

            "Jared..."

            Jared turned in Jensen's arms and put his arms around his neck. "I'll pay for it," he said. "I've got enough money to afford it."

            "I don't want you to spend all of your money on something for me."

            "You spend all of your money on things for me. I just want to repay you. Get you something that you can really cherish."

            "I've already got something that I cherish," Jensen whispered.

            Jared rolled his eyes. "You're so cheesy."

            "It's the truth though. I don't need you to buy me that ring. I don't need you to do anything for me. All I need from you is for you to stay healthy for the next seven months. Got it?"

            Jared nodded and spun out of Jensen's arms. "I don't know why we are discussing this," he said moving back to look at the rings again. "You haven't even proposed to me yet."

            "I'm working on it. I just want to make sure it is perfect."

            "I bet," Jared mumbled.

            Jensen pulled Jared's back against his chest. "I am going to make the proposal so good that there will be YouTube video's dedicated to its awesomeness," he whispered into Jared's ear.

            "It better be."

            Jensen laughed into Jared's ear. "Anything for the most cherished thing in my life."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Jared had bought Jensen's wedding ring a few weeks before he had dragged Jensen to the jewelry store. He'd been wandering the mall with his friend and official baby, wedding, everything that might come along planner Tammy when he dragged her into the store to look at rings. The moment his eyes connected with that ring he bought it. Now he was regretting it.

            "He doesn't like it," he told Tammy over the phone. "He looked at it like it was the ugliest thing he'd ever seen."

            "Oh sweetie that can't be true," she assured him.

            "But...but," he sobbed. And when the hell did he start crying? Damn hormones. "All he did was tell me that it was too expensive and when I told him that I wanted to buy it for him he told me he didn't want it."

            "Everything will be fine. Once he knows you bought it for him he'll love it."

            "What if he doesn't?"

            "He will."

            "How can you be so sure?"

            "Because I know him. Well not know him, know him, but I know him. You know?"

            Jared couldn't help but laugh. "No Tam, I don't know."

            Tammy sighed heavily. "He loves you Jared. Like really loves you. That means he will love that ring. The only reason he didn't love it in the store was because of how pricey he thought it was."

            "You think so?" Jared sniffed.

            "Yes, I do. So don't worry. Okay?"

            "Okay."

            "Now has that boy proposed to you yet?"

            "No," Jared mumbled.

            "Why the hell not?" She shrieked. "What is he waiting for?"

            "I don't know? The baby to be born?"

            "He did tell you he wanted it to be memorable right? Maybe he'll wait until you are in labor and have a full flash mob come in."

            "Yeah that would be really memorable."

            There was a quick argument on Tammy's side of the phone. She sighed. "I've got to get going. Chad wants to go see a movie."

            "Chad? Tammy..."

            "Nothing is going on," she rushed. "We're just going as friends."

            "Yeah okay."

            "I'll talk to you later, okay?"

            "Okay."

            They hung up and Jared was left sitting in his computer chair staring on the ceiling. With a sigh he pulled his t shirt up to his armpits so that he could look down at his stomach. There was a tiny little bump forming where there used to be toned flesh. It was kind of cute. Sometimes Jensen would spend hours just rubbing his hand up and down the tiny thing.

            "I wonder if you can hear me," he whispered to his stomach. "I think Jensen told me that you can." Jared laughed softly. "Your daddy likes to read pregnancy books. He's so excited to meet you. As am I."

            Jared spun in his chair. "Two years ago I thought I was never going to get your daddy. He was this unattainable person that I couldn't help but love. Man was I surprised when I found out that he loved me back."

            The chair came to a stop in front of his desk. His eyes locked with the duel framed picture that he had sitting there. On one side was Jared and Jensen, the other was from an ultrasound. The word "family" was printed in black script underneath them. It was a graduation present from Jensen.

            "Your daddy is a really sappy man," he told his stomach. "One day, when your here and old enough, he's going to embarrass you. Just know he does it out of love."

            A knock on the door had Jared spinning towards the door. He called a "come in" and Jeff pushed the door open.

            "Were you talking to yourself?" Jeff asked, peaking his head into the room.

            "No," Jared lied.

            Jeff looked around the room. "You're the only one in here."

            "I was talking to the baby, okay?"

            "Oh," Jeff whispered. He opened the door some more and stepped into the room. "Can it even hear you?"

            Jared shrugged. "Jensen told me it could."

            "Okay cool."

            "What are you doing here?" Jared asked when his brother hadn't moved.

            "Mom invited me for dinner."

            "Is Jensen here too?"

            Jeff shook his head. "Nope. Family only dinner."

            "Jensen's family," Jared mumbled.

            "Padalecki's only then. Something about family bonding or whatever."

            Jared crossed his arms over his chest. "Fine," he huffed.

            Jeff laughed. "You're probably going to see him later."

            "Really?" Jared asked sitting up in the chair.

            "Yeah. Mom invited him over for coffee."

            Jared sagged back into the chair. "You think that has anything to do with the 'family bonding'?"

            Jeff shrugged. "Maybe."

            "Great."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Jensen's dad came over with beer and a pizza for a 'manly talk'. The two of them were sitting awkwardly in the kitchen eating for over an hour before his father cleared his throat and put his beer down.

            "I think you're making a mistake," he told him matter of factly.

            Jensen nearly choked. "What?"

            "Did you take a moment to even think about your future Jensen? How a baby at this point in your life will affect you?"

            "Dad...Are you saying I shouldn't marry Jared?"

            Alan ran a hand down his face. "You're on your way to becoming a lawyer, Jensen."

            "So? What does that have to do with Jared and our child?"

            "Everything. You're only twenty one Jensen, you have your whole life in front of you. Jared and this baby are only going to hold you back."

            Jensen stood up from his chair; it fell to the floor with a loud crack. "Jared and our child aren't going to hold me back."

            "Jensen sit down."

            "No."

            "Jensen Ross Ackles..."

            "I am an adult, father, and I get to make my own decisions. Which means I get to decided what is and what isn't holding me back."

            Alan rose to his feet. " Don't you dare use that tone with me. You may be an adult but you are still my son and you will respect me."

            "Like you respect me? Like you respect my family?"

            "He's not your family."

            "He will be. Does mom know you are here saying these things about Jared and her future grandchild."

            "No but your mother is so wrapped up in this whole baby thing that she can't see how this will hurt you."

            Jensen's blood was boiling. Out of all the people in his life he thought his father would be level headed about everything. Instead his dad, the man he's looked up to all his life, is telling him to leave his future husband and child.

            "I've decided to change degrees," Jensen informed his father.

            "What?" His father bellowed.

            "I've decided to switch to forensics instead. Or maybe I'll just drop out and become a police officer."

            "Jensen..."

            "Or maybe I'll become a painter. Or...or...or...fuck dad this is my life. I get to make the decisions in them, not you."

            "Okay."

            "What?"

            "Okay," Alan repeated. "You're right. You're an adult and you get to make your own decisions. I just wanted to make sure that you really wanted it."

            "Are you fucking kidding me? This was a test?"

            Alan walked over and placed his hand on Jensen's shoulder. "Sorry son. When it comes to Jared you are extremely bias and don't think properly. I just wanted to make sure you really wanted it."

            "I hate you," Jensen whispered. "God dad I thought you really thought that way."

            Alan pulled Jensen into his arms. "Please don't hate me," he whispered. "I just wanted to make sure. I'm sorry."

            "I don't hate you. I really don't."

            Alan kissed Jensen's temple. "I love you, son."         

            "I know you do. Just never scare me like that again."

            They parted after a few second of just hugging each other. Alan patted Jensen on the shoulder again.

            "You propose to him yet?" He asked as he picked up the chair Jensen knocked over.

            "Not yet," Jensen admitted, dropping into the now righted chair. "But I'm going to be doing it soon."

            "Good because I want that kid in our family already."

            Jensen laughed. "Me too dad. Me too."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            The weather was warm and the sun was shining brightly. Jensen and Jared are lounging on a hammock in the Padalecki's backyard. They'd been talking about what they were going to do in terms of where they were going to live once the baby was born. Now they are just laying in the sun silently, enjoying each other's company.

            "So I was thinking," Jensen whispered.

            Jared turned to Jensen. "What were you thinking about?"

            "I think we should get married."

            "Oh yeah?"

            Jensen fumbled a little bit so that he could get a hand in his pocket. Once he got it in he moved around a little more until he could get whatever was in his pocket out. It was a small box.

            "Yeah," he whispered, opening the box.

            "Oh my God," Jared whispered looking at the ring. It was a stainless steel band.

            "I know it's not much but I thought since your wedding ring will be more elaborate that your engagement ring should be..."

            Jared kissed Jensen's lips, silencing him. "It's beautiful," he said. "It's absolutely perfect."

            "Is that a yes?"

            "I thought you said it was going to be something elaborate and YouTube worthy."

            Jensen shrugged. "Thought this would be nicer. I can try again thought if you want." He closed the box.

            "What? No. This is perfect Jen, absolutely perfect."

            "Yeah?"

            Jared grabbed the hand that was holding the box. "Yeah. I didn't need a big thing. I just need you."

            "I need you to," Jensen whispered. "So is that a yes?"

            Jared kissed Jensen's knuckles. "It's a yes."

            Jensen let out a sigh of relief. Slowly he retracted his hand so that he could open the box again. "Wanna try it on?"

            "Yes."

            The older man removed the ring from the box and slipped it onto Jared's left ring finger. "Perfect fit," he whispered kissing the area just above the ring.

            Jared pulled Jensen as close to him as he could and kissed him. "I love you," he whispered in between kisses.

            "I love you too," Jensen sighed against his lips. "I love you so much."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            They're at the jewelry store again. Jensen lead Jared over to the display case that held the ring he'd been drooling over. He pulled Jared's back against his front and hitch his chin over his shoulder.

            "Is that the one you really want?" He asked, raising one hand to the ring as the other settled on his bump.

            "Yes," Jared breathed.

            "Then your wish is my command," Jensen joked with a nip to Jared's ear.   

            "What about the one I wanted for you?" Jared asked quietly, almost shyly.

            "If that is what you want me to wear then it is the one I will wear."

            "Good."

            Jensen chuckled. "I really do like it," he informed him. "I think its stunning."

            "Really?"

            "Really," Jensen whispered into Jared's ear.

            "Good because I bought it for you already."

            Jensen released Jared and spun him so that their eyes could meet. "Jared..."

            "I saw it a few weeks ago when I was here with Tammy and I knew it would be perfect for you. Hormones or whatever took over and I bought it right then and there."

            "Can I see it?"

            Jared gave Jensen a big smile. "Of course," he whispered. He fumbled around in his pocket for a minutes before removing a black jewelry box from his pocket. Without a word he passed it over to Jensen.

            "It's beautiful," he whispered after opening the box. Carefully he took it out of his pocket and slipped it onto his right ring finger.

            "What are you doing?"

            "I want to wear it until the wedding. It'll be like your engagement ring to me."

            "If you lose that Jensen Ackles I swear to God..."

            Jensen leaned forward and kissed Jared. "I'll never lose this. I promise."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            They are married on a cloudy day in September. It's a small wedding with only about one hundred people in attendance. Jared is stunning in his suit while Jensen feels like he should not be graced to stand to next to such a beautiful person. Their reception is held in the Padalecki's backyard, catered by Tammy's family who own the diner in town.

            "It was a beautiful ceremony," Tammy told Jared.

            "You'd know, you're the one that planned it."

            Tammy smiled and swirled her drink like it was alcohol. "I did, didn't I? I must be some sort of fantastic human being or something."

            "Or something," Jensen joked as he approached them. He threw his arm around Jared's waist and pulled him close.

            "How are you husband?" Jared asked him.

            "I am perfect husband," Jensen whispered into Jared's neck.

            "He's drunk," Chad stated from where he was standing next to Tammy.

            "Am not," Jensen argued.

            Jared pulled Jensen's head up and breathed him in. "Have you actually had anything to drink all night?" He asked when he couldn't smell any alcohol.

            Jensen shook his head. "Want to remember tonight."

            Chad made a noise in the back of this throat. "Can you be anymore sappy? I mean honestly Jensen...oof."

            "Shut up you," Tammy snapped retracting the elbow that just connected with Chad's chest. "I think they are adorable."

            "We ARE adorable," Jensen mumbled.

            Jared kissed Jensen's lips. "You looked stunning today."

            "You were the one that was stunning. I looked like a piece of crap next to you."

            "I thought you looked amazing."

            "And that's all that matters in the end I guess, right?"

            "Right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where the conversation with Jensen and his father came from. I feel like I have no control over some of the things that I write and when I try to delete it I find myself with a giant hole so I am forced to keep it. It's really frustrating sometimes because I hate that I seem like I am creating all of this unnecessary angst in my stories that will cause people to stop reading. So I'm sorry if you don't like it.


	3. Thanksgiving/baby shower

                When they found out that they were having a little girl Jensen blurted out the name before he was really thinking. Both Jared and the ultrasound tech laughed at him causing him to blush deeply. Jared grabbed his hand and kissed it softly.

            "I think it is a wonderful name," he told him.

            "Really? You like it?"

            "It's unique," the tech said as she ran the wand around Jared's stomach.

            Jensen ducked his head and scratched the back of his head. "Is it too unique?"

            The tech shook her head. "I think it's beautiful.

            "And I agree," Jared said with a light squeeze."

            "Then it's settled?"

            Jared nodded. "It's settled."

            Jensen leaned down and kissed Jared on the lips softly. "Our little baby girl," he whispered. "Thank you for giving this to me."

            Jared smiled. "You're welcome," he joked.

            "Did you guys want a print out today?" The tech asked.

            "Of course," Jared and Jensen said at the same time.

            The tech laughed and pushed some buttons. A few seconds later the ultrasound picture was passed over to Jared.

            "She's going to beautiful," Jensen whispered. His face was an inch away from Jared's. "I can't wait till she arrives."

            Jared turned his face so that he could place a soft kiss to Jensen's cheek. "Me neither."

            "You're really okay with the name?"

            "I'm really okay with the name. It will suit her so well."

            "I'd like for you to pick her middle name."

            Jared thought for a second before nodding. "I've got a perfect one."

            "Yeah? What is it?"

            "It's a secret," Jared whispered into his husbands ear.

            Jensen frowned. "Fine," he mumbled.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            They decided to keep the name from everyone. It would be announced after she was born much to the chagrin of both Jensen and Jared's mothers. They spent the first few days begging to know that it was until finally they settled for having to wait. Just knowing they were having a granddaughter seemed to mollify them.

            "A little girl," Sherri gushed again. "I can't believe you are having a little girl."

            Jared ran his hand down his stomach. "I can't believe it either."

            Sherri sat down next to Jared and patted his stomach lightly. "You're going to be such a good parent."

            "What if I'm not though?" Jared whispered.

            "What do you mean?"

            "I don't know how to raise a girl."

            "And I knew how to raise a boy?"

            "You had dad."

            "So? I spent all of my time with Jeff when he was a baby while your father was at work. I was almost always concerned that I was doing it wrong, that I was going to mess up. But I learned from trial and error and your brother came up perfectly fine."

            "What about me?"

            "Everything I learned from taking care of Jeff I applied to taking care of you. It was almost a breeze. Except for the fact that I was trying to take care of a three year old and a new born at the same time." Sherri laughed. "Jeff got into so much troubled while I was trying to take care of you."

            "You'll help me with her, right?"

            Sherri pulled Jared against her and ran a hand through his hair. "Of course I will," she said.

            Jensen came into the room. "What'd I miss?"

            "Nothing," Sherri and Jared said.

            "Well that wasn't suspicious," Jensen mumbled as he sat down in the arm chair.

            "I think we need to start discussing your baby shower," Sherri said changing the subject.

            "Baby shower? Do we really need to have one?" Jensen asked.

            "Yes you really need to have one. How else do you plan on getting things for your little girl?"

            Jensen shrugged. "I always just assumed we would by it ourselves."

            "What about your mother and I? Or all of your friend? Don't you want them to celebrate the upcoming birth of your baby girl?"

            "I guess..."

            "Don't worry," Sherri said as she stood with a flourish, "your mother and I will plan everything for you. All we will need are guest lists."

            "I don't think mine is going to be very long," Jared mumbled.

            Sherri turned to her son and frowned. "Why do you say that?"

            "All of my friends are away at college. I don't think any of them will be willing to come to my baby shower."

            Jensen stood and came to sit next to Jared. "That can't be true. What about Chad?"

            "He's the furthest and can't afford a plane ticket. But it's fine, I'll probably still have fun even without my friends being there."

            "A baby shower is supposed to be when friends and family come together to celebrate the new life coming into the world," Sherri said taking the seat next to Jensen. She reached across her son in law to grab Jared's hand. "It won't be the same if you don't have any friends there."

            "It'll be fine. I get along with Jensen's friends and the family will be here so it will be fun."

            "But Jared..."

            "Really, I'll be okay."

            Sherri patted Jared's hand. "Okay," she said getting to her feet again. "I promise I'll make it fun for you even if you don't have your friends with you. Don't worry."

            "I know you will mom."

            With one last smile Sherri went into the kitchen. Now that Sherri was out of the room Jared collapsed against Jensen.

            "You're not okay are you?" Jensen asked as he petted over Jared's hair.

            "No I am," Jared reassured him. "It's just...it's lonely sometimes. I mean I have you and Jeff and the rest of my family and your family but sometimes I need someone who isn't you or family."

            "I know," Jensen whispered. He pulled Jared closer and buried his face in his hair.

            "Chad kept promising that he'd call and Skype but he never has the time. I just miss him."

            Jensen kissed the top of Jared's head. "I wish there was something I could do."

            "You can't fix everything," Jared whispered.

            "I'd sure as hell like to try," Jensen joked.

            Jared looked up at Jensen. "You're insufferable."

            "And you're gorgeous."

            Jared leaned forward and kissed Jensen.

            "I'm hungry."

            "Yeah? What do you want?"

            "Pickles."

            "How many?"

            "A whole jar."

            Jensen laughed. "A whole jar of pickles it is," he told him. "Anything for my beautiful husband."

            "I love you."

            "I love you too."

            "Jensen?"

            "Yes?"

            "Pickles?"

            Jensen detangled himself from Jared with a laugh. "I'll be right back."

            Sherri was on the phone when Jensen walked into the kitchen. When she saw him she hung up.

            "That was Chad's mother," she told him.

            "Yeah? What'd she say?" Jensen asked as he pulled the jar of pickles out of the fridge.

            "She's suggested that we have the party around the same time as his Thanksgiving break so that he'll be here."

            "That's a great idea."

            "The party will be the Sunday after Thanksgiving."  

            "That's in a month. Are you and my mom going to be able to plan the party in enough time?"

            Sherri walked over and patted Jensen on the cheek. "We'll be fine. Now go and give your pregnant husband his pickles."

            "Should I tell Jared about Chad?"

            "No. I think we'll keep that one a secret."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

             Thanksgiving was a giant event that was held at Jared's parents house. The whole Ackles and Padalecki clan joined together to celebrate the holiday. No one besides Sherri and Donna were allowed in the kitchen and if they even tried they'd be shooed out. Jared found himself on the couch with several pillow stacked around him and people waiting on him hand and foot.

            "Are you sure there isn't anything else you need?" Jensen asked.

            "Jensen I am fine," he told him for the fifth time. He ran his hand up Jensen's chest and pulled his head down for a kiss. "But thank you."

            "How is she treating you today?" Jensen asked as he put a hand on Jared's stomach.

            "She's being a little angel. She's been moving a lot today."

            "Yeah? Anything that I could feel?"

            "No," Jared said frowning. "But soon I think. She's starting to feel really strong."

            Jensen nodded. "You sure you don't need anything?"

            "I'm fine," Jared huffed. "How'd you manage to get all of this from them anyways?"

            "I just had to use the granddaughter card. It works every time."

            "You're a very smart man Mr. Ackles."

            "Why thank you Mr. Ackles," Jensen replied, kissing Jared on the lips.

            "Do you know how the planning for the baby shower is going?"

            "Nope. They have kept it under wraps for the past little while."

            "Great," Jared huffed.

            "What's wrong? I thought you were excited for this."

            "I am, it's just...you're gonna have all your friends there to celebrate with you and I'll have no one."

            "Hey, you'll have me."

            "Yeah I do," Jared said, kissing Jensen on the cheek.

            "Besides, you hate parties. Nothing good has ever happened to you at a party."

            "That's not true. Our wedding party was perfect"

            "Hopefully Sunday is just as great."

            "It will be," Jeff said dropping down onto the couch. "You're going to be getting free stuff."

            "For the baby."

            "Do you know how expensive that stuff can get? You're lucky you've got people falling all over themselves to give you that crap."

            "It's not crap," Jared whispered. "It's stuff for my precious little girl."

            "OUR precious little girl," Jensen corrected.

            "Anyways," Jeff said, "the party is going to be fun. Mom and Mrs. Ackles have the whole thing planned out to the tee."

            "You're going to be there?"

            "Like I am going to miss it. I even have a really awesome gift for you."

            "I bet," Jensen mumbled rolling his eyes.      

            Jeff pushed Jensen shoulder causing him to fall on his ass. "It's going to be awesome," he repeated.

            "Dick," Jensen mumbled as he got up from the ground.

            "Don't doubt my gift giving abilities."

            "Jared, sweetie," Sherri called from the kitchen. "Did you need anything?"

            Jared looked at the array of snacks and drinks he had around him and laughed. "No mom, I think I will be okay." 

            Sherri came out of the kitchen for the first time all day. "Are you sure?"

            "Yeah mom, I'm sure."

            "When's dinner going to be done?" Jeff asked.

            "In about an hour," Sherri said over her shoulder as she disappeared back into the kitchen.

            Jared groaned. "I don't think I can eat dinner."

            "You're not hungry?"

            "How can I be hungry when you've been force feeding me food all day?"

            "You say you're not hungry now but I bet in an hour you'll be complaining that you are starving," Jeff said.

            "I've got a human being growing in me that makes my stomach the size of a walnut. I don't think I'll be that hungry in an hour."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            "If you don't slow down you're going to choke," Jensen whispered during dinner.

            Jared put his fork down and glanced over at his husband. The older man had a devilish smirk on his face.

             "Shut up," he mumbled.

            "Thought you wouldn't be hungry," Jeff shot from the other side of the table.

            Jared crossed his arms over his chest. He could feel the tears beginning to form in the corner of his eyes. Even though he knew they were just messing around with him his hormones were all of the place.

            "Babe, what's wrong?" Jensen asked.

.           "Do...you...think...I'm...fat?" Jared sobbed.

            "What?" Several people said at the same time.

            "Do you think I am fat?" Jared repeated.

            "Why would you think that?" Sherri asked, reaching her hand across the table.

            "B-because everyone keeps making fun of me."

            "Jared, no," Jeff said. He got up from his chair and walked over so that he could kneel next to Jared. "No one thinks you are fat. I was just messing around with you."

            Jensen grabbed Jared's hand. "You're growing our little girl Jared, you can eat as much food as you want. No one thinks you are fat."

            "Y-you don't?"

            "Of course not sweetheart," Sherri said. "You are absolutely beautiful."

            Jared took a few unsteady breaths. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

            "For what?" Jensen asked.

            "For ruining dinner."

            "You didn't ruin dinner," Donna assured him.

            Gerry looked up from his plate. "Every pregnant person deals with hormones," he said.

            "Us husbands just learn to live with it," Alan added.

            Jared looked over at his father and father in law and realized that neither man had paused eating dinner. They both were acting like it was completely normal for Jared to have a melt down during the meal.

            Jensen followed Jared's line of sight and laughed. "Couldn't even pause for a moment?" He asked.

            Both Alan and Gerry shrugged, going back to eating their meals.

            "Men," Sherri mumbled under her breath.

            Jared pouted. "I'm a man."

            "Yes you are," she said patting his hand. "But you know what it's like for us woman. You're special."

            For some reason his mother calling her special made him preen. He sat up straighter in his chair and puffed his chest out. The actions made Jensen laugh and lean over so that he could kiss him on the mouth.

            "You going to finish your meal?" Jeff asked as he got off the floor to go back over to his seat.

            Jared looked down at his plate. His stomach rolled uncomfortably. "No, I think I am done."

            "Are you okay?" Jensen asked.

            Shaking his head Jared shot out of his chair and bolted to the nearest bathroom. He just barely made it there before empty the context of his stomach into the toilet. Seconds later Jensen came into the room and sat down next to him; rubbing his back softly.

            "You're ruining your meal," Jared complained in between pouts of sickness.

            "I'm fine," Jensen replied not stopping his hand.

            Jared was about to insist he go back to his meal when bile rose back up again and he hunched over so that he could continuing being sick. Several long moments passed with him puking and Jensen rubbing his back. Finally his stomach settled and he fell back onto his butt softly. Jensen reached over and flushed the toilet.

            "You okay?" Jensen asked, standing.

            Jared nodded.

            Jensen nodded back and went to retrieve a glass of water. When he came back he passed the glass to Jared before grabbing a wash cloth and wetting it with cold water. He dropped down next to Jared and ran the cloth over his heated flesh.

            "I was hoping your morning sickness was gone," he whispered.

            "I was too."

            Jensen laughed softly. "You sure know how to make a dinner exciting."

            Jared punched him lightly in the shoulder. "I'm tired.

            "It's from all that turkey you ate."

            "I'm pretty sure it doesn't count when you puke it all up before you can digest it."

            Jensen huffed out another laugh. He placed the cloth on the floor next to their feet and placed a hand on Jared's belly. "You realize that this is the last Thanksgiving were going to have where we're not parents?"

            Jared placed his hand on top of Jensen's. "I really don't have any problem with that."

            "Me neither," he said kissing Jared on the cheek.      

            "Think you could carry me to the couch?" Jared asked.

            Without hesitating Jensen lifted Jared up off the ground and carried him into the living room. Gently he placed him down onto the couch. Jared wrapped himself in his cocoon of  blankets and burrowed down further into the couch.

            "Comfy?" Jensen asked with a laugh.

            Jared nodded sleepily.

            "I'm going to go back to dinner."       

            Jared snored softly.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Jensen was beyond excited for the baby shower. He couldn't wait until Jared saw that Chad was going to be in attendance. The Padalecki's and Ackle's had arranged it so that Chad would arrive a little bit later into the party so that it could be a really good surprise.

            As he watched his husband fake smiles for everyone's sake though he wished they had come up with a different plan. The party had only been going on for about an hour and the younger man already looked so sad. He was participating in all the little silly games that their mothers had planed but Jensen could tell his heart wasn't truly in it.

            "You okay?" Jensen asked.

            Jared gave him a small smile and nodded. "It's great," he said.

            "You need anything?"

            "Can you get the door?" Jared asked when it rang.

            "Why don't you get it?"

            "Really?"

            Jensen turned his attention to his friend and started up a conversation. Jared huffed and got up from the couch, heading over to the door. His friend smiled, everyone except from Jared knew about the plan, and turned towards the door. The door swung open and Jared let out a shriek.

            "Chad?" He yelled.

            "Hey Jay," Chad greeted with a large smile on his face. "Miss me?"

            Jensen watched as his husband threw himself at his friend. Chad laughed, catching Jared and pulling him into a tight hug.

            "I can't believe you're here," Jared sobbed into his friends shoulder.

            "You really thought I was going to miss my nieces baby shower? What type of uncle would I be if I wasn't here?"

            "How?"

            Jensen stood up and approached the younger men. "You were so upset that you couldn't have any of your friends here so we contacted the Murrey's and made sure that they got Chad a flight out later."

            "Is that why you rushed on the party?" Jared asked.

            "It was the only time we could ensure Chad could be here," Sherri told him.

            "I can't believe you set all of this up."

            "You deserve it," Chad said.

            "Now that Chad is here we can start opening the gifts," Donna announced. She came over and shooed Jared, Jensen, and Chad towards the living room. "Grandmother gifts first."

            Jensen accepted the brightly wrapped gift from Donna while Jared accepted the equally as bright one from Sherri. Very carefully the unwrapped the two gifts to find identical white boxes. The two men shared a look before peeling off the top of the box. Inside were two rather tore teddy bears.

            "Mr. Snuggles?" Jared said at the same time Jensen said: "Teddy?"

            "You kept him?" Jared asked cuddling the bear to his chest.

            "Of course," Sherri said.

            "It's tradition to give your first baby your first baby gift," Donna informed them. "So we held onto them for just this occasion."

            Jensen looked down at the teddy bear and smiled. He could remember dragging the little lightly colored bear around with him everywhere he went. The last time he had seen it the bear had been missing an eye.

            "And you fixed them," he whispered running his finger over the patched up bear.

            "Only the best for our granddaughter," they said at the same time.

            Jared got to his feet and hugged his mother close to him. "Love you," he whispered.

            "I love you too."

            They continued to unwrap everyone's presents until there were only two left. Jeff had insisted that they wait until the end to unwrap his and Chad had held his to his chest until they were done. Eagerly, Jared made grabby hands at Jeff.

            "Come on," he whined. "I want to see your awesome gift."

            Jeff rolled his eyes. "Here," he said passing his little brother the present.

            Jared grabbed it and ripped the paper off. When he revealed a set of purple poka dotted bed sheets he pouted.

            "This is your awesome gift?" He asked.

            Jeff shook his head and walked out of the room. Moments later he came back in wheeling a beautiful crib. It was painted white with a mobile of safari animals already attached to it. When Jared went to thank him Jeff held up his hand and left the room, coming back in with a matching changing table.

            "Is that it?" Jared asked.

            Jeff frowned. "You don't like it?" He ran his hand over the cribs railing. "I guess I should have made sure this would be okay."

            "Okay? Jeff this is beautiful," Jared said. "I can't believe you spent this much on me."

            Jeff shrugged. "Anything for my baby brother."

            "Jeff, man, I don't know how to thank you," Jensen said.

            "No need to."

            Jensen stood up and pulled his best friend into a hug. Jeff patted him on the back roughly.

            "My turn," Chad announced when Jeff and Jensen broke apart. "I didn't know what to get you so I took a chance and got you something to bring her home in."

            Jared took the package from Chad and unwrapped it. Inside was a pink and blue striped onsie with the babies initials monogrammed on the left shoulder. Quickly so that no one else could see Jared covered it up.

            "This is perfect," Jared told his friend.

            "Were those her initials monogrammed on it?" Jensen asked.           

            "I thought it would be a nice touch," Chad said with a shrug.

            Jensen turned to Jared. "You told him her name?"

            "I'm sorry," Jared whispered.

            "I begged him to tell me," Chad told him. "I have a whole set of monogrammed stuff that my mom is going to be dropping off later."

            "There's more of these?" Jared asked.

            "There are onsies and some blankets in all different colors. I even got a scrap book with her name on it."

            "You're not mad are you?" Jared asked Jensen.

            "No," he said kissing him softly. "I'm not mad."

            "Good," Chad breathed. "I thought I was going to cause a war or something. I just hate that I'm not going to be around for her birth so I'm trying to make up for it."

            "Can I see it?" Sherri asked.

            "No mom. You and everyone else will have to wait to see it," Jared said folding the onsie up and hiding it from view.

            Sherri sighed heavily. "Fine," she huffed.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Jared and Chad sat on the couch together in Jared and Jensen's small house talking softly. Jensen could hear the two of them laughing from all the way in the nursery where he was organizing all of the gifts from the baby shower. He was putting all of the different clothing away when he saw the bag that contained the monogrammed blankets and clothes. Grabbing it he walked over to the rocking chair that they had gotten from his friend Chris and sat down.

            Carefully he pulled out one of the soft baby blankets. It was a light yellow with her initials on the corner of the blanket near the border. He ran his hand over the stitching and smiled. He'd been a little hurt that Jared had decided to tell Chad the babies name without telling him but now that he is looking at it stitched carefully into the fabric any residual hurt was gone. Chad's gifts were so thoughtful and beautiful that Jensen was actually happy Jared had told him.

            "You okay in here?" Jared asked from the doorway.

            Jensen looked up at him and smiled. "I'm good. Why aren't you with Chad?"

            "I had to pee," Jared said walking further into the room. "What do you have there?"

            "One of the monogrammed blankets."

            "Look Jensen, I'm..."

            "I'm really glad you told him," Jensen said cutting him off.

            "You are?"

            "If you hadn't told him we wouldn't have these beautiful personalized things."

            "I've got a pretty fantastic friend, huh?" Jared joked.

            "He's pretty awesome."

            "I heard that," Chad yelled from the hallways. He walked into the room and smiled. "It's looking good in here. Perfect room for your little girl."

            "You don't think the color is too girly?" Jared asked looking at the light pink walls. "We were going to go with something more neutral at first but..."

            "A little princess deserves a pink room," Chad said. "It's the perfect color."

            Jared let out a long sigh.

            "I told you that you picked out the perfect color," Jensen said. He got out of the rocking chair and kissed Jared on the temple.

            "Where are you going with that blanket?" Jared asked as Jensen walked out of the room.

            "I'm just going to hang on to it for a bit."

            The blanket ended up on their bed, tucked under Jensen's pillow so that he could run his hand over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original plan was for this to have four chapters but I think it may be five.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much fluff that I now have a cavity.

                Jared was laid out on the couch when Jensen came home from classes. His shirt was hiked up all the way and his hands were placed on either side of his belly. In the middle, right over his belly button, was a red Santa's hat.

            "What are you doing?" Jensen asked as he placed his back pack down.

            "Trying to get in the holiday spirit," Jared told him.

            "Is that helping?"

            Jared shook his head and threw the hat to the side. Balling up his fists he placed them over his eyes and sobbed softly. Confused at the turn of events Jensen stood rooted to the spot. When Jared's breath hitch in a watery cry Jensen uprooted himself and rushed to his husband.

            "What's wrong?" Jensen asked, kneeling next to the couch.

            "I'm not excited for Christmas," he sobbed.

            "You're not? But I thought Christmas was your favorite holiday."

            "I-it is. B-but I just want her here. It just doesn't feel right with her not here. I keep thinking of next Christmas and how wonderful it will be and this Christmas just seems so...so..."

            "Insignificant?"

             Jared nodded pitifully. "I should be happy because it is our first Christmas as a married couple but..."

            "But it's nothing compared to babies first Christmas," Jensen finished for him.

            "Yeah," Jared muttered.

            "I totally understand."

            "You do?" Jared asked as he dropped his hands.

            "Of course. Every time I go out shopping for someone's gift I'll see baby toys and thinks about how great it would be for her. Then I get all excited for when she'll actually be here and everything else seems so insignificant because nothing compares to it."

            "She won't even be old enough to fully understand her first Christmas but I can't wait to see her face when she gets all of that stuff."

            "She'll be just like you. There will be paper and tissue all over the place because she'll be so excited to see what's inside."

            "If she's anything like I was when I was younger she'll just play with the boxes it came in."

            Jensen leaned forward and kissed Jared on the forehead. "I can't wait."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Jared insisted they have a real Christmas tree for their first Christmas together. Jensen didn't have anything against it at first; he actually enjoyed the idea of having the pine scent throughout the house at first. It wasn't until they were at the third tent selling trees that he just wanted to give up. His right arm was cut up from where a tree nearly crushed him and the pine scent that he was so excited for before was now getting nauseating. He was miserable to say the least.

            Jared on the other hand was still as excited as can be. He waddled his way through the rows of trees mentally, and vocally, crossing off the ones that he did not find appropriate for them. In his head he had a certain vision of what he wanted to have and since they hadn't found it yet they were probably going to have to go to another tent. Jensen was worried that they were going to run out of tents to search.

            "Maybe a fake one will be better," Jensen suggested as he gently placed another tree down.

            "I don't want a fake one," Jared stated.

            "But Jared..."

            "You promised," he whined.  

            "I know I did but we've been at this for close to six hours and you still haven't found what you wanted."

            "Is it so bad that I want our first Christmas together to be special?" Jared asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

            "Of course not," Jensen said rushing to Jared's side. "I want this to be special too. It's just that I don't think we're going to find _the_ tree."

            "It's got to be here around somewhere," Jared insisted. He walked towards the smaller trees and started looking down the aisle. "I mean how is it possible that we can't find a tree that we like."

            "I've found several perfectly good trees..."

            "But they weren't perfect. It needs to be perfect."

            "Why? Why does it need to be perfect Jared?"

            "I just want it to be. I want all of this to be memorable."

            "It's not like it matters what our tree looks like. We're going to your parents for Christmas anyways."

            Jared stopped walking and turned to look at Jensen. "No one told you?" He asked.

            "Told me what?"

            "Our parents are going on a cruise together for Christmas. It's just you and me this year."

            "What about Jeff?"

            Jared shrugged. "He hasn't decided yet."

            "So it's just you and me at our apartment this year?"

            "Yup," Jared said, popping the P. "So now do you understand why it need to be perfect?"

            "I guess..."

            "Oh my gosh," Jared breathed looking over Jensen's shoulder. "It's perfect."

            Jensen turned around to see a rather large burly man carrying a tree into the tent. It was about five feet tall, tall enough for Jared to decorate on his own without a ladder, and extremely bushy. The thing was perfect.

            "It's perfect," Jensen said turning back to Jared.

            The younger man nodded and looked at Jensen. "Can we get it?"

            "Of course we can get it," Jensen told him. He pulled Jared into his arms and kissed him. "Anything for you."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Carrying a five foot tree up three flights of stairs was the most difficult thing Jensen has ever done in his life. It was so difficult in fact that he nearly fell backwards down the stairs three or four times before he even got to the second floor landing. But he grinned and bared it and right now he is extremely glad he did because the tree looked absolutely beautiful.

            The original plan had been that they would decorate the tree together but Jared insisted that he did it himself. After a bit of grumbling and pouting, all Jared, Jensen agreed to let the younger man do it alone. Right now as he stared at the tree he is glad that he did.

            The tree was decorated with multi colored lights with white garland wrapped around it. Jensen not hundred percent sure when Jared managed to get either of them but he's not about to complain. Placed in a perfectly symmetrical areas bright and cheery bulbs hang on the branches. On further expectation Jensen finds that almost all of them are hand painted. As he searches he finds one for each of them that says their name and year of birth and one that is for the both of them with the date of their wedding, a gift from their wedding. He even recognizes some as the ones his mother placed on her trees. Finally a hand crafted angel sits on the top of the tree looking down at the ground above.

            "Do you like it?" Jared asked.

            Jensen turned back to his husband and just stares.

            "You don't like it," Jared whispered. "It's fine. I'll take it all down and we can redecorate it together."

            "Don't you dare," Jensen said. "Don't you dare touch a single bulb on that tree."

            "You like it?"

            "Like it? Baby I love it," Jensen told him as he rushed forward and scooped Jared into his arms. He spun them around and kissed Jared on the lips. "It's absolutely beautiful. Where did you managed to get all of this stuff?"

            "Well some of it is from my mother and your mother. I bought some of them from a vender at the flea market. I made some and bought the others at the store."

            "You made some of them? Which ones?"

            Jared grabbed Jensen's hand and dragged him around the tree to the back. Sitting on several of the branches were finely painted glass bulbs. As he looked at them he laughed softly to himself as he categorized the order in which they were made.

            "Why aren't this in the front?" He asked turning back to look at Jared.

            "I wanted all of the pretty ones to be in front," he told him.

            "But these are the pretty ones," Jensen insisted.

            Jared shrugged. "I like them here for now."

            Jensen nodded. "Then we'll keep them here for now."

            "You didn't say anything about the tree skirt," Jared pointed out.

            Jensen frowned and looked down at the skirt. "Is that hand stitched?"

            Jared nodded.

            "Did you get it from the woman at the flea market?"

            Jared shook his head.

            "Is it your moms?"

            "Jared shook his head again.

            "Come on Jay, where'd you get it?"

            Jared chewed on his bottom lip and mumbled something Jensen couldn't quite make out.

            "What was that?"

            "I made it," he whispered a little bit louder.

            "You...you made it? When?"

            "I've been working on it while you were at school. It's been a little project of mine. Do you like it?"

            "I love it."

            Jared smiled brightly. "Take a closer look at it."

            Smiling Jensen dropped down to the ground so that he could really look at the skirt. The swirling patterns of red, green and white slowly morphed into something more than just swirls. They were names. First he found his, then he found Jared's, his mothers, Jared's mothers, Jeff, his fathers, Jared's fathers, Chad's and finally their baby daughters name. Jensen breath caught in his throat as he traced his finger over the green thread that connected Jared and Jensen's name to their daughters.

            "It's kind of like a family tree," Jared told him. "The red all connect to your side of the family, the white to mine and the green to ours. I left enough room for more people."

            "I didn't know you could sew," Jensen said as he flipped over to look up at Jared.

            "My mom taught me. I'm not very good."

            "Not very good? Jared this is perfect." Jensen jumped to his feet and pulled Jared into his arms. "You are absolutely perfect."

            "You really like it all?"

            "I love it all."

            Jared kissed Jensen on the lips. "Good because that would have been a bummer to have to replace."

            Jensen laughed. "I bet."

            Later that night after Jared went to bed Jensen moved all of his hand crafted bulbs to the front.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Jensen is a serial procrastinator. If there is something that needs to be done he'll wait for the last possible second to do it. On several occasions Jared has had to yell at him because he's still up at four o'clock doing a paper that he had almost a month to do. That's how he ended up at the mall on Christmas eve looking for a gift for Jared.

            "I can't believe you wait this long," Jeff complained.

            "I couldn't help it," Jensen said as he looked through a rack of sweaters.

            "You couldn't help it? How hard is it to go to Wal-Mart and pick him up something?"

            Jensen let out a loud sigh and turned away from the rack. "This is stupid. Literally nothing here would work."

            "The mall closes in like half an hour Jensen, you need to pick something."

            "What would you get him?"

            "I already got him something," Jeff told Jensen as he dragged him out of the store. "Unlike you I don't leave everything down to the last minute."

            "Nothing seems good enough. Nothing IS good enough. I mean how do you express to the man you love, the man who is having your baby, how much he means to you?"

            Jeff stopped in front of a store and grabbed Jensen's arm. "What about that?"

            Jensen stared at the large print out for a spa retreat. He couldn't help but smile when he thought about how much his husband would enjoy a day at the spa.

            "That's actually a great idea," Jensen told him. "I know there was a reason I kept you around."

            Jeff laughed and slapped Jensen on the shoulder. "I better be getting a kick ass gift," he told him. "I am the reason you are with him in the first place."

            "You're right man. But um..."

            "You haven't gotten me anything have you?"

            Jensen winced and ducked into the nearest store. He looked around and smiled. Out of pure luck he managed to walk into a maternity store.  Quickly he picked up several different items and paid for them before the store could close.

            "You done yet?" Jeff asked when Jensen came out of the store.

            "Yup," Jensen confirmed. "Now let's talk about what I should get for you."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Jeff jumping on the bed wake Jensen and Jared up. The twenty one year old man is smiling from ear to ear as he hoped lightly up and down. At that moment he looked like every child on Christmas day.

            "Get up, get up, get up," he chanted, hitting Jensen lightly on the leg.

            "Now sweetie that more you bother the longer we will take," Jensen mocked, covering his head with his pillow.

            "Come on Jensen," Jared mumbled. "Let's get up."

            "Up?" Jensen whined. "But it's so early."

            "This is terrible," Jeff complained, plopping down in the middle of them. "You've got a baby coming in three months and THIS is how you act on Christmas? What are you going to do when your little girl jumps on you?"

            "I'll drag my ass out of bed and get myself a coffee so that we can celebrate Christmas," Jensen mumbled.

            "Which we are going to do right now," Jared said. After a few false starts, and a little help from his brother, Jared got up out of bed. "Come on."

            "I'm coming, I'm coming."

            Jensen waits until Jeff and Jared are out of the room to get up. Rushing around the room he grabs all of the gifts that he had hidden away. He knew that Jared wasn't expecting too many gifts since there are only a few under the tree and he's excited to see his expression. With an arm full of gifts Jensen exits the room.

            Jensen, I...Oh my," Jared exclaimed as Jensen came into the room. "Where did all of these come from?"

            "I've been hiding them."

            "Why?"

            "So that I could see that look on your face when I brought them out," Jensen said, kissing Jared on the lips.

            "Well I am extremely surprised."

            "Good."

            Jensen passed Jared his gifts and sat back to watch him open them. He watched as his husbands face lit up when he opened each of them. When he got to the gift certificate for the spa he started crying.

            "Did...did I do something wrong?" He asked rushing to Jared's side. "I'm sorry for whatever I did that is wrong."

            "Wrong? You didn't do anything wrong," Jared sobbed. "It's all so perfect. Especially this. My back has been killing me for weeks and I didn't want to whiny and overbearing. And these clothes? There amazing. You're amazing."

            "So you like them?"

            Jared slid off the couch and placed himself in Jensen's lap. "I love them. And I love you."

            Jensen's face spilt wide in a smile and kissed Jared on the lips. "I love you too."

            "Oh Jensen," Jeff sighed as he pulled an iTunes gift card out of its little bag. "You shouldn't have."

            "He picked that out didn't he?" Jared asked.

            "Yes, yes he did."

            Jared got out of Jensen's lap and walked over to the tree. Bending down he picked up a gift and passed it to Jensen. "I really hope you like it."

            Jensen unwrapped the gift slowly and opened the box. Nestled inside the box was a beautiful watch. He was almost positive he stopped breathing when he looked at it.

            "This is beautiful," he whispered. "Thank you baby. Thank you so much."

            "I didn't know what to get you so I went back to that shop where we got our wedding rings and I saw it. I just knew you'd like it."

            "You know me so well," Jensen said kissing Jared.

            "After four years you would think I would," Jared joked.

            Several hours later Jared was changed into one of the new sweaters Jensen got him and was snuggled up on the couch watching Santa Clause. Jensen walked into the room and stopped in the doorway to watch his husband watch the movie.

            "Do you want to join me?" Jared asked pausing the movie.

            "Sure," Jensen said walking into the room. He sat down next to Jared and pulled him against his chest. "You know that this movie is older than you are right?"

            "It's the first Christmas movie I remember watching," Jared whispered as he snuggled closer to Jensen. "It's Jeff's favorite movie."

            "Yeah it is," Jeff said dropping down onto the floor in front of them.

            On the screen the actors were discussing when they stopped believing in Santa Claus. Jensen felt Jared's breath hitch and he looked over to him to see that he was crying.

            "What's wrong?" He asked.

            "They're taking him away from his dad," he whispered.

            "Is this a hormonal thing?"

            "Yes this is a hormonal thing." Jared paused the movie and turned to Jensen. "I promise that if we ever break up that I won't take our daughter away from you. Even if you decided that you are Santa Claus."

            "And I promise the same."

            Jared nodded and turned the movie back on.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Jensen had one last present for Jared that he waited until they went to bed to give him. They were curled up in bed when Jensen pulled it out from under the bed to pass it to him.

            "What is this?" Jared asked.

            "Just open it."

            Jared sighed and sat up in bed. Half awake he ripped the wrapping paper open to reveal a hand carved wooden picture frame. Along the edges were their name and their daughters name and the picture inside was one of them. They were standing front to back with Jensen's hands on Jared's stomach.

            "Where did you get this picture?"

            "Your mom took it at the baby shower."

            "What about the frame?"

            "I made it."

            Jared ran his hand down the carved words. "You're pretty much perfect aren't you?"

            Jensen shrugged. "I guess so," he joked.

            Jared laughed softly and rolled so that he could kiss Jensen. "Love you."

            "I love you too my beautiful husband."

            Jared placed his hand on Jensen's face and pushed him away. "Go to sleep."

            "Goodnight."

            "Night," Jared mumbled.

            Jensen laid there staring at the ceiling for a little while. He couldn't help but think that he just celebrated the best Christmas ever. Well at least until his little girl came into the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby girl will be born in the next update and you'll finally get to know her name. Merry Christmas everyone!


	5. Chapter 5

It happens at a house party because in all reality how else was it supposed to start? Jared and Jensen are over at a friend's house trying to enjoy what could possibly be their last days with a kid when the first pain starts. They had been sitting in the backyard listening to Jensen's friend Steve sing about heartbreak when Jared double over in his chair, curling around the bump.

            "You okay?" Jensen asked grabbing onto Jared's hand.

            "Braxton Hicks I think," he gritted out squeezing Jensen's hand.

            "You sure?"

            "Ye-" Jared cuts off with a little 'oh'.

            "What's wrong? Jared are you okay?"

            Jared looked over at Jensen with wide, scared eyes. "I think my water just broke."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            For the first time since Jared got pregnant Jensen wanted everything to slow down. It feels like it all went by way too quickly. One second Jared was calling Jensen from Chad's house party telling him that he is pregnant and the next Jensen is sitting next to Jared as he labored through another contraction. His husband has been in labor for four hours and according to the last nurse who checked him he is only five centimeters.

            "Only five more," she cheered, removing her glove. "If you're lucky you may have your little girl before midnight."

            Jared mumbled something under his breath and shot the nurse a dirty look. That dirty look is then aimed at Jensen when another contraction starts to ripple through him.

            "You're doing so well," Jensen whispered to Jared.

            "Out," Jared huffed.

            "What?"

            "Get out of here Jensen," he shouted.

            "But, Jared..."

            "Get out!"

            Jensen backed away from the bed with his hands in the air. "I'm going," he said softly, like he was talking to a scared animal. "I'll be just outside."

            "I don't care," he shot back. "Just get out."

            Jensen ducked out of the room and placed his back against the wall just outside the door. From where he was he could still hear Jared laboring through his contractions. Balling his hands into fists he slid down the wall and placed his head on his knees.

            "You okay?" Jeff asked dropping down to sit next to him. His brother in law smells like sweat and when Jensen looked over at him he saw that he is still wearing his police academy sweats.

            "You leave early?" He asked ignoring Jeff's question.

            "Jared told me he wanted he here a few weeks ago," Jeff said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Why aren't you in there?"

            "He didn't tell me he wanted you in there," Jensen said still ignoring Jeff's questions. He didn't want to let on how hurt he really was that his husband kicked him out of the room.

            "Jensen," Jeff said placing a hand on Jensen's shoulder, "why aren't you in there with him?"

            "Why aren't you?"

            "Because he's my brother and I want to wait as long as I can before I have to see all of that," Jeff said with a vague hand gesture. "What's your excuse?"

            "He kicked me out. Doesn't want me in there with me."

            "Seriously?"

            Jensen nodded miserably.

            "What did you do?"

            "I have no idea. Can you go sit with him?"

            Jeff nodded and patted Jensen on the shoulder. "I'll make sure you don't miss anything," he told him before getting to his feet and disappearing into the room.

            Jensen can hear Jared greet Jeff happily and ask if it's okay to hold his hand. A spike of jealously runs through Jensen when he thinks that he should be the one holding his hand. After a few minutes Jeff hisses in pain then tells his brother he's doing so well. Swearing Jensen pushed to his feet and leaves the maternity ward to find the cafe.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Jared is a lot of pain. His head is fogged with it so much that he started lashing out at people. First it was the nurses, but in his defense they weren't really helping with the pain just contributing to it, then he snapped at Jensen and kicked him out of the room. He's only alone for a few minutes before Jeff comes up still dressed in his sweats.

            "Hey little brother," Jeff said with an awkward smile.

            "Can I hold your hand?" Jared asked holding his out to Jeff.

            Jeff nodded and took Jared's hand. He moved to sit in the chair next to the bed and made himself comfortable. A contraction hits Jared and he squeezed Jeff's hand hard.

            "Shit," Jeff mumbled under his breath. He breathed deeply for a minute before gathering himself. "You're doing so well," he told him. "Just breathe through it Jay."

            Jared nodded and breathed deeply. In-out, in-out, in-out. When the contraction dissipated Jared released his death grab on Jeff.

            "What are you doing here?" He croaked out.

            "You wanted me here so here I am. How are you feeling?"

            Jared shrugged. "I'm in a lot of pain and I'm kind of thirsty. Are there any ice chips left in that cup?"

            Jeff released Jared's hand and looked into the cup. "It's just water," he told him. "You want me to get you some?"

            Jared screwed his eyes shut and whined when another contraction hit him.

            "You've gotta breath man," Jeff said grabbing his hand again.

            "Where's Jen?" Jared asked suddenly feeling the tears beginning to spill.

            "He's just outside the door. You want me to get him?"

            Jared nodded. "Please," he whispered. "I want my husband."

            "Okay." Jeff pried his hand out of Jared's and went to the door. When he turned back there was a frown on his face.

            "What's wrong? Where's Jensen?"

            "I...uh...I don't know."

            "But you said he was outside of the door."        

            "I know...I'll go get him."

            "I don't want to be alone."

            Jeff scratched the back of his neck and looked out the door again. "I can't find him and stay here. I know you don't want to be alone but..."

            Jared huffed and curled in on himself as another spike of pain hit him. Whimpering Jared held his breath hoping that the pain would go away if he didn't breath.

            "You've gotta breathe," Jeff told him again running his hand over Jared's sweaty hair.

            "Want Jen," he whimpered.

            "Will you be okay if I leave for a few minutes?"

            "O-okay."

            "I'll be right back," Jeff promised.

            As Jeff was leaving a nurse came into the room. She had bright red hair and a plastered on smile. She moved around the room for a minute before coming to sit in front of Jared.

            "I need to check you progress," she told Jared as she helped him adjust his legs.

            Jared whimpered when her hands started to prod around. Everything hurt and right now all he wanted was Jensen sitting next to him. He feels guilty for kicking him out of the room when all he was trying to do was help Jared.

            "You haven't progressed at all," the nurse told him as she snapped off her gloves and threw them away.

            "What does that mean?" he asked her.

            "I'm going to get your doctor in here so that she can talk to you."

            Jared slumped back against the pillows and ran his hands down his stomach. He turned his head and watched the fetal monitor making sure that everything still looked okay. Not that he would know if there was anything wrong.

            "Hello there Jared," his doctor said as she came into the room. She picked up a chart and looked it over.

            "Is everything okay?" he asked her.

            His doctor hummed and nodded her head. "So for," she said putting the chart back down. "You've progressed steadily so far but it looks like you have stalled a bit."

            "Is that bad?"

            "Not at this point. But if we come in again in an hour and you still haven't progressed we may look into giving you some [Pitocin](http://www.drugs.com/mtm/pitocin.html) to..."

            "I don't want any drugs," Jared told her.

            "I know Jared but if we want to make sure that you can have her naturally..."

            "No drugs."

            "Without it you may have to have a c-section Jared," she informed him.

            Jared ran his hand through his hair. "Can I discuss this with my husband before we moved any further?"

            "Of course," she reassured him giving him a pat on the shoulder. "I'll be back here in an hour to check you out. If it doesn't look like you've progressed at all we'll look into your options."

            Jared thanked her then sagged back against the pillows again. He looked over at the door and sighed heavily hoping that Jensen would be back soon.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            "There you are," Jeff said panting heavily. "I've been looking for you."

            Jensen shot up out of his chair. "What's wrong? Did something happen to Jared? Why aren't you with him?"

            "He's fine. He sent me to come look for you."

            "So he's up there right now alone? What if something happened while you were gone?"

            "You're the one who came all the way down here."

            Jensen gave Jeff a heated look before basically running out of the cafe. He heard Jeff shouted after him and then him running a little bit behind. They skidded to a stop in front of the elevators.

            "The stairs would be quicker," Jeff pointed out pointing to the sign.

            "You're right," Jensen mumbled turning and bolting through the door.

            "Come on man," Jeff yelled up at him from a flight of stairs under Jensen. "Will you slow down?"

            "I'm just giving you all the training you missed when you left to get here," Jensen yelled over the hand rail. "Now will you hurry up already?"

            Jensen burst through the door to the maternity ward and caused the nurse that was walking by to startle.

            "Shit sorry," Jensen mumbled dropped down to help her pick up the things she dropped.

            "First time daddy," she asked.

            "Yeah. How can you tell?"

            "Only first time dads book it through the stairwell. By the second or third you'll be waiting for that elevator."

            Jensen laughed and passed her the things he picked up. "Sorry again."

            "It's fine," she reassured him.

            The door behind Jensen swung open and hit him in the back causing him to fall forward. Jeff looked down at Jensen with a apologetic look before his eyes met the nurse that Jensen had been helping.         

            "Oh, uh, hi," he said a bit awkwardly.

            The nurse, Rebecca, stood. "Hi," she said with a smile.

            Jensen looked between his brother and law and Rebecca before laughing and pushing to his feet. "I'm going to go check on Jared," he told them.

            "Right," Jeff mumbled not looking away him the nurse.

            Jensen resumed his running and screeched to a stop outside of Jared's room. The door is still closed so he can see his husband laying on the bed. The younger man has his eyes closed and his hands on his stomach. He's breathing in shallow, pained gasps which Jensen gathers is because he's in the middle of a contraction.

            "You're beautiful," he said as he walked into the room.

            Jared's eyes snapped open and he turned his head to look Jensen. "No I'm not," he slurred. "I'm sweaty and gross."

            "You're beautiful," Jensen tells him again. "Absolutely beautiful."

            Jared blushed and looked away. "Where were you?"

            "I went to get some coffee."

            "The doctor was here," Jared said playing with the top of his blanket.

            "What did she say?"

            "That it seems that I have stalled in labor and if I don't progress by the time she comes back in that they may put me on some drugs."

            "She thinks that is the best course?"

            Jared nodded.

            "Then we do that."

            "I don't want drugs," Jared reminded him.

            "Jared..."

            "What if I take the drugs and something happens? When if she acts negatively to them and..."

            "She's going to be okay," Jensen whispered taking Jared's hand into his. "Nothing is going to happen. And wouldn't you much rather have her naturally then through a c-section?"

            "I just want her to be healthy. I've heard horror stories about them giving someone [Pitocin](http://www.drugs.com/mtm/pitocin.html) during labor."

            Jensen nodded and kissed Jared's hand. "Whatever you feel comfortable with I'll back you up one hundred percent."

            "Okay."

            Jensen leaned forward and kissed Jared on the forehead. "I love you," he whispered into his hair.

            "I love you too," Jared panted, another contraction hitting him hard. "Oh fuck."

            "What's wrong?"

            "Hurts. Hurts really bad," he whispered.

            "You sure you don't want any drugs?"

            Jared shot Jensen a hated look. "No. Drugs."

            "Right. No drugs."

            Jensen sat back in his chair with Jared's hand firmly in his grasp.

            "So you're brother is out there flirting with one of the nurses," he informed Jared.

            Jared let out a little laugh. "Leave it to Jeff to meet a girl while I am in the worst pain in my life."

            "It's worth it though, right?"

            "Yeah," Jared whispered running a hand down his belly, "it's going to be worth it."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            The doctor came back into the room a half hour after she said she would. She's got an extremely apologetic look on her face where she stands at the door.

            "Another patient of my went into labor," she tells the as she's putting on a pair of gloves. "But the nurses told me that the baby is still reading at a healthy level so I'm hoping that means we'll have some good news."

            Jared tenses a bit when she sits down in between his legs and starts prodding around. He had spent the last hour and a half worrying about the baby. Every bad situation has been floating around his mind and he knows that if he doesn't calm down soon then something bad may actually happen.

            "We're at nine," the doctor informed him. "You're been a busy man while I was gone."

            "Nine? As in one more before he can start pushing?" Jensen asked from where he is sitting next to Jared.

            "Yes," the doctor cheers. "I wouldn't be surprised if you were ready to deliver within the hour."

            "Within the hour? What happened to labor being stalled and me needing to be induced?"

            "This is a good thing," the doctor reassures him with a pat to his knee. "I'm going to be just down the hall at the nurses' station so if you feel like pushing just hit the call button. Okay?"

            "Okay," Jared panted as another contraction hit him. He's so busy concentrating on breathing through it that he doesn't even notice the doctor leaving the room.

            "You're doing so well," Jensen whispered in his ear. "I'm so proud of you."

            "It's going too quickly," Jared sobbed.

            "That's a good thing. Shorter labor, less pain."

            "But I feel like I missed out on my whole pregnancy."

            "What do you mean?"

            "I feel like just yesterday I was telling you about my pregnancy. When did the last nine months go Jensen? I know I said I wanted her to be here but I feel like I blinked and now she's going to be here."

            "Aren't you excited?"

            "Of course I am. I just feel like I wasn't able to cherish it."

            "I feel the same way," Jensen told him. "Who knew nine months could go by so quickly?"

            "Are we really ready for this? Are we really ready to have her?"

            Jensen leaned over Jared and held his face in his hands. "We're ready," he said. "It's going to be difficult and we're going to struggle a bit but Jared we're ready. And I am so excited for her to be here. I'm glad those nine months went by so quickly because I need to hold her."

            Jared nodded and kissed Jensen. "I love you."

            "I love you too."

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            An hour turned to two then three then four. Nurses came in and out making sure that the baby was still okay but for some reason Jared just wasn't progressing past nine. Jared was starting to panic and even though he was acting brave on the outside for Jared so was Jensen.

            "What's going on?" Jensen asked the doctor when she came back in.

            "Let me check."

            The room went silent as she worked. Jensen ran his hand through Jared's hair, breathing in and out in exaggerated breaths hoping that Jared would breathe with him. Instead Jared's breath puffed out in weak little puffs meaning that he was attempting to holding his breath.

            "You're at ten," she told them. "I'm going to get some nurses so that you can start pushing."

            "But I don't feel the need to push," Jared said, eyes wide with panic.

            "Your babies heart beat started picking up while I was checking you. You're going to have to start pushing to ensure that she is born safely."

            "Okay," Jared whispered.

            The room erupted in movement. Nurses came strolling in with various different instruments and started milling around the room. Jared whimpered that he wanted his mother and Jensen went out to the waiting room to find her.

            "How is he? How is it going?" Donna and Sherri said the moment he walked into the door.

            "He's about to start pushing," he told them. Turning to Sherri he gave her a small smile. "He wants you."

            "Oh okay," she said jumping out of the chair. "Come on let's go before the show starts without us."

            Jensen and Sherri enter the room to find it in chaos. The nurses have all stopped their movement and are standing at different placed by the bed. The doctor is in between Jared's leg with a dark green smock on over her scrubs, a mask over her mouth and a cap over her head.

            "You're just in time," she said. "We were just about to start pushing."

            Jensen rushed to Jared's right side while Sherri rounded the bed and manned his left side. They both took one of his hands.

            "You ready for this?" Jensen asked him.

            "Not like I have a choice," he snapped.

            "You're going to be okay," Jensen heard Sherri tell him. "Everything is going to be okay."

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            One second Jared was in the worst pain of his life and the next a small crying baby was placed on his chest. Removing his hand from his mouths he moved it down so that he could run a hand through the babies brown hair.

            "She looks just like you," Jensen whispered into his ear.

            "She's absolutely beautiful," Jared said running a hand over her little cheek.

            "Welcome to the world little one," Sherri said.

            There was more pain and Jared lifted his eyes to look at his nurse.

            "You're okay," she reassured him. "You're just have to deliver the afterbirth."

            Jared nodded and turned his attention back to  the little human on his chest. Her eyes were securely shut and her face was scrunched up in a expression of displeasure. Her little limbs were flailing around with her small hands balled into fists.

            "We need to take her," a nurse said softly.

            "I'll stay with her," Jensen reassured him with a kiss to his forehead.

            Jared watched as his baby was taken from him and moved to the other side of the room, Jensen hovering just behind the nurse. The doctor told him to push and a few minutes later he passed the afterbirth. 

            "You can rest now," his doctor said. "And congratulations."

            Jared slumped back against the pillows and closed his eyes. The sound of his daughter screeching made him bolt upright and hiss in pain.

            "She alright," Sherri told him helping him lay back down. "They just pricked her foot."

            "I want to hold her," he whimpered.

            "She be right back over in a second."

            Nodding Jared got himself comfortable again. Now that everything was settled down he could feel himself starting to drift off. He was just so tired and drained.

            "Hey," Jensen whispered startling Jared wake. "Sorry didn't mean to wake you."

            "Didn't realize I feel asleep," Jared mumbled looking up at Jensen. In his arms was a small pink bundle. "Is everything okay?"

            "Everything is perfect. She exactly eight pounds and she has all ten toes and ten fingers."

            "Where's my mom?"

            "She went to tell everyone the good news."

            Jared nodded. "Can I hold her?"

            "Of course," Jensen said bending down so that he could transfer the little girl into Jared's arms.

            "Oh my God," Jared whispered. "She's beautiful."

            "Isn't she?" Jensen asked moving her blanket away from her face a little. "She's like your little copy."

            "Are you alright with that?"

            "I'm a little afraid of how I am going to deal with boys when she's older," Jensen joked. "But I am so happy she looks like you."

            "My little Belle," Jared whispered.

            "Our little Mirabelle Dawn."

            Jared looked up at Jensen. "I love you so much."

            "I love you too."

            "And I love you," Jared whispered to Mirabelle. "I am so glad that you are here."

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            "Can't believe I'm a father," Jensen whispered as he looked down at his daughter.

            "Neither can I," Jeff said. "Remember when we were thirteen and you told me that you never wanted kids cause they were sticky and gross?"

            Jensen laughed remembering what had brought on that declaration. His aunt had come over with her two year old son and the only thing the kid wanted to do was play with Jensen. The little boy had eaten a whole bunch of chocolate and tried attacking Jensen's face afterwards.

            "In my defense my cousin James is gross," Jensen said with a laugh.

            "Not like our little Mirabelle," Jeff cooed at the little girl. "She'll be a little lady when she's older."

            "I'm gonna be beaten people off of her left and right."

            "You going to be one of those dad's that cleans his gun when his daughter's boyfriend comes over?"

            "Yup," Jensen said cuddling his daughter closer to his chest. "This little girl won't be dating until she is at least twenty."

            "What if she takes after her papa and falls madly in love with someone at the age of sixteen?"

            "Then she'll have to wait till she is twenty."

            Jeff laughed softly so as not to wake Jared or Mirabelle. "Good luck with that one."

            "I just want what's best for her."

            "What was best for Jared was you. Just think about that," Jeff said getting to his feet. As he passed by Jensen he gave him a pat on the shoulder then left the room.

            "He's right you know," Jared said around a big yawn.

            "How long have you been awake?" Jensen asked moving to sit next to Jared.

            "Long enough to hear the tail end of your conversation with Jeff." Jared made grabby hands at Mirabelle and Jensen passed her over to him. "You were what was best for me and Jeff let us become a couple. What happens if some boy is what is best for her?"

            "She's only a few hours old," Jensen huffed. "Can we discuss when she's older?"

            Jared lifted Mirabelle up and kissed her on the head. "Yeah we can wait," he whispered.

            Jensen moved off of the bed so that he could sit in the chair and stare at his little family. He still couldn't believe that because of a house party that Jeff held while his parents were gone for the weekend that now he had the greatest life he could possibly want.    

            "Whatever makes you happy you'll get," he heard Jared whisper to their daughter.

            "Yeah," he agreed. "Whatever makes her happy."

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            Mirabelle, with her parents, left the hospital two days after her birth dressed in one of her monogrammed onsies that Chad got for her. She slept all the way home and the moment she gets out of the car she started screaming.

            "So you're gonna be one of those kids are you?" Jared whispered as he paced the living room rocking her. "You like cars do you?"

            "You think we should put her back in the car?" Jensen asked. He has been running in out of all of the rooms in the house trying to figure of what to do.

            "No," Jared said. "You know that brightly colored chair that is in the closet?"    

            Jensen stopped moving and thought for a moment. "The one with the animals on it."

            "Yes."

            "What about it?"

            "Go get it."

            Jensen nodded and moved to run for the room. Too bad his feet slipped on the hardwood and he face planted onto the floor.

            "Oh my... are you okay Jensen?" Jared asked bursting out into a full body laugh.

            Jensen looked up at Jared with a look that said 'don't say a damn word'. "I'm fine," he mumbled getting to his feet.

            "Are you sure you're okay?"

            "I'm fine," he mumbled. "Hey she stopped crying."

            Jared looked down at Mirabelle to see that she was looking up at him with her cloudy blue eyes. "Did papa laughing at daddy falling down make you happy?"

            "It must have been the vibrations from your laughing that put her to ease."

            "Maybe you should fall again," Jared suggested.

            "Or I could go get that chair you wanted me to grab."

            "Oh you're no fun," he shouted after his husband as he stalked out of the room.

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            "My turn," Jensen mumbled as he dragged himself out of bed. He chanced a look over at the clock and saw that it was four thirty in the morning. He needed to be up in two hours for class.

            "You want me to go?" Jared mumbled into his pillow. "You've got class."

            "No, no it's my turn to check on her."

            "Okay," Jared yawned.

            Jensen left the room and walked into the nursery following the sounds of Mirabelle crying. When he entered the room he found her kicking her little feet and waging her fists in the air in her clear unhappiness.

            "What's up little miss?" He whispered to her as he picked her up. "You need a diaper change?"

            He yawned and moved over to the changing table. Only half awake he deftly changed her diaper then dressed her in a clean onsie. Lifting her up so that she rest against his shoulder he made his way out into the kitchen area so that he could make her a bottle.

            "Let's get you something to eat and then back into bed," he mumbled to her. "I know how much you enjoy that."

            After the bottle was made Jensen went back into the nursery so that he could feed Mirabelle on the rocker. As he slowly rocked back and forth she took greedy pulls from the bottle as she looked up at him with her blue eyes.

            "I hope your eyes turn hazel," he told her. "Your papa wants them to be green so that you inherit something from me but I think you'll look beautiful with hazel. Besides if you look like your papa then we'll have an excuse to keep trying for one that looks like me."

            Mirabelle's eyes start to droop and the bottle falls from her mouth with a soft 'pop'. Chuckling softly Jensen lifted her to his shoulder and patted her back until she let out a little burp.

            "Okay time for you to go back to bed little girl," he whispered as he stood.

            Carefully, so as not to wake her back up, Jensen placed Mirabelle back down into her crib. After making sure that she was covered with a blanket and still asleep he left the room and collapsed back into bed.

            "She okay?" Jared asked moving closer to curl up against Jensen.

            "She perfect," Jensen told him throwing an arm over Jared. "She's absolutely perfect."

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            Chad held Mirabelle like a football the first time Jared ever granted him permission to touch her. His best friend showed up at his doorstep two weeks after her birth with a floppy eared bunny and Whisky for the new parents.

            "How'd you even get this?" Jensen had asked looking down at the rather expensive bottle.

            "Well it's really a gift from my parents but I'm taking responsibility for it."

            Jared rolled his eyes and took the bottle from Jensen placing it on a shelf that Mirabelle will only dream of reaching. "That will be coming out only on special occasions," he informed them.

            Chad laughed and looked down at Mirabelle who was lightly dozing in her bassinet. "Shit she really does look just like you Jay," he whispered.

            "I know right," Jensen beamed. "We do pretty good for the first try."

            "Puff that chest back in," Jared joked lightly hitting Jensen. "He's been all 'look at how virile I am' since she was born. He's turn into one of those parents who shows everyone pictures of their baby."

            "Damn right I am," Jensen mumbled into his water.

            "Can I hold her?" Chad blurted out.

            Jared looked over at Chad then down at Mirabelle. "You've never held a baby before."

            "So? I've never had a baby too hold. Please Jay? I promise I won't drop her."

            Jared shared a look with Jensen before sighing. "Fine," he mumbled.

            Carefully he lifted the infant from the bassinet and passed her over to Chad.

            "He looks terrified," Jensen commented as he watched Chad not to drop his daughter. "I swear to God Murray if you drop my kid I'll kill you."

            Chad looked at Jensen then at Jared. "I'm holding her wrong aren't I?"

            Jared tisked his tongue and moved forward so that he could rearrange her properly in his arms. After a few tries they settled on her placing her against his chest with a hand cupping the back of her head and the other cupping her butt.

            "There," Jared said stepping back.

            Mirabelle made a displeased noise and Chad stiffened. "Uh, Jay..."

            "Just rock her a little bit," Jensen said. "She'll quiet down in a minute."

            Chad started bobbing slightly like he was dancing to a song he liked. After a few seconds Mirabelle quieted down again.

            "I wouldn't say he's a natural but I think I'll be comfortable with him holding her in the future," Jensen commented.

            "I agree."

            Chad absolutely beamed at them.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Jared stared down at his daughter and sighed heavily. At no point in his life did he think he'd ever get something this precious. It still felt like a dream to him that he had the life that he did. Who would have thought that something he hated so much would lead to two things he loves so much?

            Reaching over he grabbed his phone and dialed Jeff's number. His brother answered on the second ring with a overzealous 'hello'.

            "I just called to thank you," Jared told him still staring down at Mirabelle.

            "For what?"

            "For throwing that party all those years ago."

            "Well you're welcome," Jeff said with a laugh.

            "I'm serious Jeff. If you hadn't thrown that party then I wouldn't have known Jensen loved me and we would have never gotten together. So thank you."

            "You're welcome," Jeff whispered seeming to have gotten the full meaning behind the moment. "How is she doing?"

            "She's amazing," Jared whispered. "She's everything I hoped she'd be and more."

            "I'm happy for you Jared," Jeff told him. "I am truly happy for you."

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            "I love you," Jensen whispered kissing Jared on the cheek. He looked down at their daughter and couldn't help but smile. "I love you two so damn much."

            "I love you too," Jared told him turning to kiss him on the lips.   

            "I am so glad I kissed you during that party."

            "Me too."

            "You still hate house parties?"

            "I think they are the greatest thing that has ever happened."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always have the hardest time ending things and I don't think this ending is any different. I hope you guys liked this story. =)

**Author's Note:**

> There will probably be more. And when I say probably I mean there will be.


End file.
